Now on FictionPad

Hey everyone I just wanted to take a minute to let you readers know that my stories are also now on FictionPad.  I will provide you with the link below.  Please show them some love even if you are following me on FF.net they haven't gotten replies yet :-)


The next two stories I plan to update are The Pack and Release Me.  I haven't updated Release Me in quite a while I am in the mood to write a little drama.

I also added The Pack to Tricky Raven I am really glad that it seems to be doing well.

AJ Costo on FictionPad

The Monster Within Reaches 100!

Today my angsty fanfic The Monster Within broke the triple digits for reviews.  I would like to think everyone who is reading this story!  I don't why but I always get happy when my story reach this goal.  I just the thought that people took the time to write something (whether it be positive or negative) about my brain child is a real accomplishment.  

So thank you and major hugs!  I hope you continue to read and support the inner workings of my loopy head.  

Luv, 

AJ 

PS - If you haven't read the first few chapters of this story check out the link below ....

The Monster Within

Various Emotions: Liz and Sky

Okay guys this is one of my first attempts at playing with Gimp ... I tried to make a picture of Liz and Sky from the Various Emotions of Liz and Sky.  Let me know what you think.

Remembering Leah Teaser

Introduction

No one really had any love for the female wolf.  They found her to be a bitter “drag” to be around.  So they left her in her hell to mourn the life she should have had.  Should have had Sam but fate deemed her cousin a better wife for him.  Her father should be alive but fate took him away from her far too soon.

She constantly felt she had to prove herself that’s what made her take on the last newborn during battle.  Only one wolf tried to help her, Jacob, but he was too late.  The sad thing was that even though Jacob tried to save Leah, his actions were more to spare Sue the hurt; it wasn’t because he remotely liked Leah at all.  So when he saw the newborn crushed her cranium against a boulder and rendered her unconscious, he like most of the others were shocked but indifferent in regards to her well being.   Leah’s body instantly went back to its human form and Emmett and Rosalie finished off the newborn.  Alice covered the female shifters body and tried to revive her.  Nothing, I heard nothing from her thoughts.  I only saw blackness.  We all would have thought she was dead if it wasn’t for her heartbeat.  That faint little thumb that was so weak that I was sure she was giving up.    

“The Volturi, she needs to be removed before their arrival.  I will come to her after we are finished,” Carlisle said in hushed and rushed tones before rejoining with Esme to address Aro. 

 The pack removed her …

Chapter 1:  Comatose

Sue leaned over her daughter crying.  “Oh God what happened?”  Sue cried, “Who is responsible for this!”  Carlisle brought me along with him to see if there was any mental activity going on inside of her, but right now Leah Clearwater’s mind remained a lifeless tomb.  The whole pack stood around her. 

“She should have listened.”  Sam said quietly.  He forced himself to feel no regret but in the back of his mind he remembered laughing and chasing Leah in a sundress up a hill when they were younger.  He had loved her and part of him remembered that love, but he felt to acknowledge that feeling for Leah would be disrespect for her current fiancée.  “Always so stubborn,” I felt the tension and ache in his throat as he masked his concern for the sake of his new fiancé.  I looked on Leah’s face she seemed at peace, it wasn’t as if she was dreaming, or more appropriately it seemed like her slate had been wiped clean. 

“All of that doesn’t matter now.  All that matters is that my sister wakes up.”  Seth stood by the doors frame while all of this transpired.  He was the one person that felt the appropriate hurt.  He felt like he was quickly losing everyone that he loved.  Leah had never been the bitter bitch to him that all of his pack makes saw her as.  She was a warm a protective sister.    

“That’s what I’m working on.”  Carlisle looked at me and I shook my head, there was nothing going on upstairs.  He sighed and covered Leah with the blanket and asked everyone to exit the room.  Everyone looked at my father waiting for a response. “I don’t know what information I can give you.  She’s in a coma … the bump on her head should be healed by morning.  However, that doesn’t guarantee that she will awaken by then.”  Her mother began to cry.  Emily tried to comfort her but she really wasn’t having it.  Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that my Bella had pulled Jacob to the side and was talking to him.  My skin boiled, I couldn’t believe that she was pissed at me because I let it be known that we planned to be married.  Her focus seemed to be on comforting him but his focus was on what was going on with Leah.  Now that Jacob knew that Leah could die he was concerned, he had known her since he was little.  It would be odd to not have her around.  He knew from now on he would be happy to have the harpy be a nag around him.    

“How long could she be out of it like this,” Sue looked up at Carlisle looked pleadingly. 

“Comas could last a couple days, weeks, months …” Then we saw her inch her way into the living room.  She held the wall with one hand and her head with the other.  She looked around the room wide eyed and alarmed.    

“Oh my God Leah you had us all worried sick!”  Her mother rushed to her and embraced her and Leah flinched away she looked at her mother as if she were somebody foreign.  Actually she was looking at everyone and everything that way. 

“Leah who is hugging you right now?”  I asked and Sue looked at her at me confused and then looked back at her daughter. 

“My … mom?”  Sue smiled; she didn’t realize that Leah was asking not answering the question.  She searched both Sue and my expression for validity or her deduction. 

“Do you know your last name?”  I asked and everybody started to catch on.  I heard someone in the background gasp and Emily say oh no.  Leah looked around embarrassed by her lack of familiarity and then tears welled up and then ran down her cheeks as she shook her head.  Carlisle stood in front of her trying to block everybody in the room, so that their stares and presence wasn’t so overwhelming.  “Tell me what going on in your head Leah.” 

“I’m confused and scared … I didn’t know my first name before she … my mom … said it.”  She sighed.  “My head hurts really badly.” 

“You should probably lay back down and rest.”  Carlisle tried to escort her back to the room so she could have the quiet she needed to remember everything. 

“But …,” she stalled, “I really wanted to see my face.”  He smiled sadly at her.  He gave her pity and empathy because that’s what she needed. 

“Of course young one,” he took her to mirror in the living room beside the front door and she looked at herself mesmerized. 

“That’s me … Leah.”  She sighed deeply and another tear rolled down her face.  I think she hoped actually seeing her face would bring back some memories of something but she didn’t receive anything not for lack of trying.  She continued to stare in silence and with a shaky hand touched some of the features of her face.  I look a lot older than I feel, she thought. 

“You don’t want to strain for memories Leah, they will come naturally, I promise to do everything I can to help you.”  Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder and she embraced him.  It was the first time I’d ever witnessed Leah actually be nice to one of our kind and think on them with positivity.    

“I really hope you can.”  She said between sobs as she continued to cling to him.  

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Awakening The Elements Teaser

Based Loosely off of The Heart At It’s Darkest by ChemicalJane

It had been over two years …

Since I had left my home in hopes of finding new happiness … well maybe not happiness, but a new purpose.  I found many things but I don’t know if it was my purpose in life, but it was most definitely a new perspective.  Two years since I had fully embraced what I was, two years of almost completely living like a human.  The main reason I was coming back was because I had decided that I was okay was what I was, I even lived for certain parts of it.  Two years had past and my secret or better yet our secret should be a memory in everyone’s minds. 

I had to come back because if I didn’t I feared I would lose myself and more importantly my ability to phase, each time I tried it was harder to get that burning ripple to flow underneath my skin and give way to my inner animal.  The last time I tried I stood for a good hour in an unknown forest trying to invoke enough of an emotion to trigger and angry response in my body, but I couldn’t think of anything I was truly angry about.  I was not the same Leah, I wasn’t bitter and everything I seemed to bitter about before seemed like a distant memory.  After traveling the world, seeing major destruction and learning of so many natural disasters it made all of my emotional baggage petty at best. 

Now, I sat in the taxi in front of my home in Forks, I watched as someone peeked through the blinds curiously.  I hadn’t told them I was coming home I wanted to surprise everyone, plus I knew if  I told them I was coming home they would ask me a question I still didn’t have the answer to … How long was I staying?  I kept telling myself that I would stay long enough to get my ability to phase comfortably back then I would leave.  Staying here would serve me no good, but something told me that I was lying to myself and that I was in for a rude awakening if I thought I was just going to walk back into my old life and no drama would befall me.  I sighed deeply and handed the driver a hundred dollars. 

“Thanks” I stepped out into my front yard and adjusted my clothes a bit. 

“No way!” I heard Seth yell from the house, “Mom, Leah’s back, Leah’s back!”  Seth whipped opened the door and ran towards me scooping me up in a big hug and squeezing me until I was almost breathless.  “Leah God I missed you!” 

“I missed you too!” I gasped as he let me down.  He grabbed one of my bags and helped me in side.  Once in our living room I sat on the couch and take a deep whiff expecting to smell all of the memories of home but instead, my eyes widen with excitement and horror.  I immediately stood up and headed for the front door, this was a mistake.  It had to be because if it weren’t I wouldn’t be getting ready to face this right now.  I haven’t even had the time to get comfortable being home.  I wasn’t going to deal with the situation just not now. 

“Where are you going Leah?”  He laughed, “You looked scared to death!”  He now sat were I was once located on the couch. 

“Fresh air,” I murmured.  I needed to escape before they all approached me, it would be too much. 

“Can’t you wait until you see mom she has missed you like crazy!”

“You’re right … I’ll stay.”  I sat in the chair by the door, just in case I needed to make a run for but I really did want to see mom.  “Where is mom anyway?” 

“She is upstairs, she was getting dressed,” he shrugged, “some things take her the longest time.” 

“Yeah …” Then, murmuring came from the back door, through the kitchen, and now appeared to me in the form of Jacob, Bella, Edward, and little Renesmee (who looked to be about 10 years old). 

“Leah!!” Jacob grabbed and shook me senseless.  “Welcome back Beta!  You are back right?” 

“I” I was about to give him an excuse but he really didn’t seem to care about what I had to say. 

“You look hot by the way; it has been a million years since I have seen you with long hair and what up with it being all curly.”  He went to run his fingers through it and Bella cleared her throat, she never did like any of the attention Jacob gave me, especially once he imprinted on her little … .  Look at me I was getting ready to go back into my old ways of thinking maybe it was the bitterness that gave me ability to phase so quickly, maybe that was what I was missing. 

“Jacob,” I moved his hand from my hair, “its just hair, God.” I smoothed my hands over my jeans and took a seat.  We all sat in silence momentarily. 

“So what brings you back?”  Bella said not looking at me with her voice cold.

“I missed my family …” I thought better of mentioning my other dilemma.  Edward’s eyes now frowned at me, and I immediately remembered his ability to steal my thoughts. 

“Oh … will you be staying long?”  She asked concerned, everything in the room seemed smaller.  I knew Bella and I had a public disliking for each other but this was different, her glare had purpose.  I was trying to be cordial but Bella always agitated me, she sort had this way of claiming things that didn’t belong to her. 

“This is my home … it was my home first, I am allowed to stay Bella … if I want.”  I said matter of fact, sometimes I honestly thought she believed that everything revolved around her, but honestly after two years to view the world I could easily tell her that it didn’t, the world revolved around none of us.  It was just ball of space in which we all existed. 

“Do you want to?”  She raised her eyebrow to me and I rolled my eyes in response.  I could smell my mother’s scent increasing rapidly throughout the room. 

“Leah dear!  Oh honey you are as beautiful as the sun and stars combined … traveling has brought out the best in you!”  She hugged me, she was right traveling had brought out the best in me, but something was missing. 

“Thanks mom and you look great too!” 

“Well I have to; you know what tonight is don’t you?”  She smiled at me and I thought to the calendar I could think of nothing special about April 3^rd. 

“Leah it is the biggest counsel meeting of the season, you know that!” She popped me lightly on the head, “you should come a lot of the elders have been asking about you!”  She beamed. 

“Sure,” I said sitting down again.  I didn’t want start an argument within my first few minutes of speaking of to her.  Those meeting were so boring or at least I used to think so, when I was nine, which was the last time I had ever attended one.

“Well tell me about everything you’ve seen and all the things you have done.” She sat down anxiously waiting for me to say something profound.   

“Haven’t you gotten any of my letters?”  I questioned, knowing that I had fully detailed all of my adventures to her, Seth, and Jacob and no one else. 

“Yeah, but Leah I just want to hear your voice.”  So I told her a couple of stories about some of the people I met. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you honey, what made your destinations change drastically?”  I stretched I hadn’t talked this long for a while, as I raised my arms to the sky and arched my back I noticed to undeserving eyes fall across my body, hopefully I was the only one to notice.  Why must he examine me so, as if he were hungry for something?  It made me uncomfortable it made me remember who I was then, a monster.  That is not me not anymore.  I felt like the past was chasing me and I was running straight into a brick wall. 

“What do you mean?”  I cleared my throat in a desperately lame attempt to breathe with the uncomfortable tension in the room.   

“I mean at first you went to places like Paris and Italy, you made them sound so beautiful and glamorous.  Then your stops seemed to have a purpose, like when you went to South America and then Africa and the whole dynamic of your letters changed … I could tell that you had too.”  I smiled at her. 

“Yeah, I left the bitch in Rome and haven’t seen her since.” I smiled slightly.  “I have to admit there are some things I regret saying and doing when I was the bitch but I cannot change that I can only go forward and try to be humane … even if I’m not completely human.”  I sighed. 

“You are …” Edward said quietly from beside Bella she now glared at him, her looked advised him to chose his words wisely, “human.” 

“And don’t say bitch sweetheart it’s not lady like!”  I laughed mom said bitch.  Edward smirked too.  It was funny that she would say a word that she claimed to be unclean and not lady like, did she not consider herself a lady.  It was one of the random slips she made that I let slide.

“I want to help people all over the world, it gives me the most amazing feeling knowing that I am touching someone’s life …in a good way, a way worth remembering.  I don’t want to be the cause of pain.” I laughed, “This conversation is getting a little deep for my whole three hours of being home.  I’m going to go freshen up … it was nice seeing you all.”  I said politely

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Not A Little Girl Anymore

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from Twilight!!

(A side note from Awakening the Elements before Ness’ 10th B-Day)

“I don’t need a babysitter anymore Embry, get out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. Embry just sat on our couch and stared at me like I was losing my mind. “I’m serious! Mase isn’t here so you don’t have to be either!” I snapped. Normally, I loved for Embry to be in my space and around me, but he was being stupid. He said he viewed me as a kid sister and I wasn’t having it. I was so tired of this façade.

“Ness, you’re only eight years old,” he scoffed and went back to watching television,” I went to the door and opened it for him.

“Apparently you’re like eighty, I told you to get out!” I fumed and stomped my foot. In hindsight I realized my mannerisms were much like that of a tantrum.

“Edward, said he much rather I be here looking after you while he and Leah were gone. I thought you’d be happy, Rose has Mase and the two of us get to hang out for a week. I was excited about it until you started to freak out.” I closed the door in defeat he wasn’t going anywhere. I was tired of screaming and I needed a drink. As I walked past Em, I noticed that he looked me up and down like he always did. I was thankful I wore my black shortie shorts today, I’d paired it with a pink tank and I looked pretty good. I opened my Pepsi and sat in the chair to the side of him and watched him passively. He took his hair tie of his wrist and pulled his hair into a ponytail. God, I was so thankful he’d let his hair grow back. I slurped on my beverage and he smirked a little at me. He got up and approached me.

“I know how to make you stop pouting,” he threatened.

“Don’t Em, that stopped being funny when I was six!” I warned and put my foot up in an attempt to block him from what he was about to do.

“It stopped being funny to you, but to me it never gets old.” He moved my foot to the side and proceeded to tickle the hell out of me. I arched my back and started to squirm relentlessly. I hated that I was ticklish, it seemed like a weakness of sorts. I was breathless from laughter and couldn’t take anymore.

“Embry … please, you’re killing me,” I said between fits of laughter and he eventually stopped his merciless attack.

“I wouldn’t want to kill you,” he murmured softly as he placed a strand of my hair behind my ear. The look in his eyes said it all. I mirrored the feeling in my heart and what we’d grown into. Embry created this weird delicious twinge in the pit of my belly that I grown to acknowledge as love, desire, and want. It was nerve racking yet intriguing at the same time.

“Embry,” I breathed his name as I moved closer to him. I lips were now a breath away from his.

“I … I … should feed you.” He said as he dashed away from quickly. “Did you want me to cook or we could order something.” I shrugged off his question. I knew what I wanted I would never have.

Love Isn't Enough

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from Twilight!!

“I’ll come back I promise,” she said as she worked on packing her last suitcase. I sat on her bed and watched as she walked from her closet to her bed with a purpose.

“For reason I don’t believe you Leah. Are things that bad here that you have to leave?” I asked and she paused for a second and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips.

“Jake, they were bad … that’s why I applied to college to get away and to better myself. At the time it made sense for me to go away.” She ran her fingers down the side of my face and cupped my cheek.

“You promised that we’d save each other.” I was pretty much accusing her of lying. This summer had been great. We’d connected in a way that I’d never thought possible. I’d known Leah for years and it wasn’t until now that I’d realized that we have so much in common. I would never forget of midnight strolls on the beach or my attempts of teaching her to play basketball. Leah was soft and a really deep thinker, not only that she was amazing in bed. She was everything that I’d ever seen myself wanting in a woman.

“Jacob, you’ve imprinted on Ness. I know you don’t feel like you love her now, but you will grow to love her and I’ll become a distant memory. I don’t know if … don’t see why I have to leave?” She stared at me with sadness in her eyes and it wasn’t until then that it dawned on me. This thing between us that was fueled by lust and salvation had morphed into love. That’s why I couldn’t let her go and that’s why she wanted to leave. She knew that in the end my heart would belong to another and she didn’t want her heart to get broken.

“Leah, I love you and right now you’re everything to me.” I got up and went to wrap my arms around her and she took a step back.

“That’s a lie Jacob. I’m actually shocked you’re standing here with me now. You’d already started to prefer the child’s company to mine and it’s okay, it’s not your fault really. Fate has just dealt me a shitty hand.” A tear dropped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

“I do love you Leah,” I repeated and she scoffed. More of her tears fell and she swallowed hard.

“I love you too, but it’s not enough in this case. Love just isn’t enough.” She approached me quickly and placed her lips on mine, crushing against me. I gripped her tightly in a bear hug and tried to match her fervor. She twisted her fingers into my hair and cried as we continued to kiss. This was our goodbye, she said she’d be back but I knew better. She pulled away with me with a few quiet dry heaves and went back to packing.

“I have to go Jacob, but I’ll be back I promise.”

Awakening the Elements

I've been posting chapter to my story Awakening the Elements to Tricky Raven and I have to say I'm very happy with the results.  People are becoming members, and at first my stories weren't getting that many views but Awakening the Elements seems to have caught some buzz!  I'm glad because ATE is my favorite story that I've written.  It was inspired by another FFn author, Chemical Jane.  She wrote a story called The Heart at it Darkest.  It tells the story of the beginnings of Leah and Edward's affair.  Her story left me wondering what happened next.  So I asked permission to write it and then ATW was born. 

At the end of ATE I said there might be a sequel and lately the story has been on my mind.  I would love to start working on something but I just have so many unfinished stories right now. I'm thinking that as soon as I finish two stories I will start this one.  I just need to give myself a little more time.  I also wrote a one shot about Ness.  Her love interest in this story is Embry and if you've read the story at all you know why!  Anyway, I wanted to share the oneshot on my site so here it is: 

(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Twilight I just like play with them like action figures lol)

Ness' 10th Birthday
An Awakening the Elements Spin Off
"Em, Em, are you out here?" I'd circled the forest three times. It shouldn't be this hard to find a big old black and grey wolf. I was pissed I shouldn't be out here looking for him. He should be looking for me. He'd been the one that had hurt me. I'd finally told this loser that I'd loved him. I'd loved him since I was old enough to know and feel what love was, and he freaked out. He kept focusing on my age. Yeah I'm ten but I think like I'm at least twenty. "Embry we need to talk?" I yelled and then sat down on the ground. I felt the Earth beneath tremble me as he came closer. I heard the growl and then the roar from him phasing back to his human form. Within moments my Embry was in front in me.
"Hi," I said as I looked up at him in his grey sweatpants and nothing else. He'd let his hair grow back down to his shoulders, he'd looked more attractive this way. I hated when he'd cut it.
"Hey." He sat down to but he was clear not to sit beside me. I scoffed at the ludicrous action. Only a few years ago I sat in his lap.
"Can you explain to me why you left my birthday party in a huff?" I turned and looked at him. He shrugged and he played with the dirt. "Don't act stupid Em, because contrary to your actions you are super smart." There was a long moment of silence between us. He wouldn't even look in my direction. I was dying for him to open up to me. The longer we remained in silence the more I believed that our friendship was over and I had single handedly killed it. "Whatever, I'm over it. You can call me when you get over yourself!" I hopped up in a huff. As soon as I gotten about twenty feet away I heard him whisper.
"Why'd you dance with him? He only looks at you like an experiment. He's not right for you." As soon as I turned around he was right in front of me.
"At least Nahuel, would dance with me. He looks at me like a woman and treats me like one." He looked down frowning with his fist shaking.
"Embry this is stupid," I said lowering my tone to calm him. I ran my hand down his forearm to his hand. I loosened his fist and held his hand. "I lov …" He pulled away from me and covered his ears.
"No Renesmee, stop, don't say it again! It was bad enough you said it the first time!" He groaned and then began to walk away from me. I easily caught up to him and got in front of him.
"So what, now you don't want me to tell you the truth? I'm sorry I don't tell lies Embry. I guess you don't want to hang out with me at all." I blocked him from moving anymore.
"I just don't want you to hang out with that guy will you do that for me please?" He begged and I couldn't help but smirk.
"Fine," I conceded. "I will never talk to Nahuel, again if you do me one favor." I moved closer to him and then grabbed his hand. I sent him a vision, the fantasy that I've had for years now, us kissing passionately in the woods. He squeezed my hand tighter as he laid witness to my desire. I showed him how desperately I wanted his hands to wander the length of my body and how badly I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. As soon as the fantasy became more graphic he pulled away. He shook his head several times before speaking again.
"Why are you stuck on me? Isn't Jacob supposed to be your imprint or something?" He huffed frustrated.
"He was, but I didn't want him, and I still don't. Besides, Jacob is perfectly happy and married with a little girl and another baby on the way. He was able to move on because I set him free. I want you Embry." I went to touch him again and he pulled away. "And you want me too, that's why this Nahuel thing is bothering you so badly. It's also why my tenth birthday has been ruined." He looked up at me with guilt coloring his face.
"I'm sorry Ness, I didn't mean to make you miss out on your party." He stepped closer and then stepped back.
"It's okay. You actually have the power to make it better. Hell, you could make this the best birthday of my life … all you have to do is kiss me." I tried to be seductive. It was hard since I'd never tried to seduce anyone before; I lowered my tone and closed the gap between us. I used the tips of my fingers to play at his torso. "Please Embry, what could one kiss hurt?" I smoothed my fingers over his cheek and he instinctively lowered his head to meet mine. His breath was staggered and his heartbeat was now erratic.
"Just one kiss?" He whispered as his breath now danced in my nostrils. I took it all in Embry always smelled fresh sort of like pine trees to me.
"Yeah just one … unless you want more," I teased and he chuckled silently.
"Okay." He was hesitant as he touched his lips to mine. I was in heaven he'd finally caved and his lips were so full and soft against mine. I sighed blissfully as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips moved together perfectly just as I envisioned. Embry growled softly as he weakened and gripped my firmly by the waist. This was my opportunity to heighten this moment I slightly parted my lips and ran my tongue along his bottom lip. He knew what I wanted and luckily he eagerly made this kiss more passionate I moaned as his tongue entered my mouth. I could taste the icing from my birthday cake on his tongue, and it only heightened the experience. The kiss was starting to grow into something more as our bodies became fully connected and his hands gripped my pink dress possessively. I didn't know if he'd realized that he was raising the dress, my concern and fear was that I didn't want him to wake from his delusions. I didn't want him to stop. I'd wanted him for so long I'd be happy with him taking me anywhere. Then the evitable happened … we came up for air.
His slowly removed his grip on my waist. As amazing as I felt in that movement I felt just as empty now that our bodies were no longer connected. We stood in silence for a moment he looked down at his bare feet. I knew Embry and he was probably ashamed of what we'd just done.
"Don't look that way, it was … I can't put it into words. I know you felt it too." I moved closer to him.
"Just because it felt good doesn't it mean it was the right thing to do Ness," he reprimanded. He was talking to me like I was a child and that was most definitely how I wanted to be viewed. I mean how could he after kissing me that way?
"But it was the right thing to do, and you want to know how I know?" He shook his head and I planned to tell him anyway. "Because how badly I want to do it again." I pressed myself against him and he groaned as half attempted to get away from me.
"Stop Ness, don't look at me like that." His hands were now at my waist like I wanted.
"Like what?" I played dumb.
"Don't act like you don't know what you're doing!" He fussed, he was the one whining like a baby.
"What am I doing to you Embry Call?" I said before I leaned in and kissed the nape of his neck. I allowed my tongue to dance along the area as I enjoyed the taste of his skin. He took in a staggered breath.
"St-stop," he murmured. I laughed to myself I did stop but only to move to the other side and do the same exact thing. I could hear his teeth grinding together as he fought with himself. I knew Embry, he didn't want to enjoy it, but he was. He didn't want to touch me, but he needed to badly. "Ness," he groaned my name as he gave into his desire once more and kissed me. His left hand traveled up my back to find the zipper of my party dress, while his right hand cupped my behind. An immediate burst of heat went through my body. My yearning for him was now unbearable. This was a whole new level of want for me, my body had never behaved in such a way. I'd never felt this intense sensation south of my navel, nor had I experience the slippery wet that now covered my panties.
"Em, I need you so badly," I murmured as I continued to kiss him all over. He never responded with words, he simply lowered us both to the ground. He finished his previous goal of unzipping and removing my dress. I watched him as he stared at my body. His fingers traced the outline of my matching pink bra and panties. My body shook involuntarily as his finger neared my centered. I whimpered hopelessly wanting to make a move.
"God, why'd you have to be so damn beautiful," he grumbled as he lowered part of his body on top of mine. "Why couldn't I resist you?" He said as he began to suck on my neck and then my ear lobe.
"Oh God," I breathed against him. I gripped his shoulders tightly it was then that I realized that I was grinding myself on him. He looked at me with shocked lust filled eyes. "Make love to me Embry, please." I whispered as if it hurt. He kissed my once more, his tongue dominated my whole mouth and almost left me breathless. As we made out, he unclasped and slowly removed my bra. He gently cupped my left breast with his hand. The warmth on my sensitive area caused my skin to tingle with satisfaction. I arched my back enjoying the feel. I want his hands all over me; however he seemed quite content with my breasts. After he had his fill of teasing and molesting them he lowered his head to my breasts and he sucked and licked them hungrily. The temperature of his mouth on me unmatched anything we'd done in this moment of passion. My desire caused my lower half to throb jealously. I groaned loudly I was growing impatient; I pulled my own panties off, and began to remove his sweats. He quickly placed my hands over my head. "Embry please!" I whined; now I did sound like a child. This time he laughed a little and pecked me on the lips.
"There's something I should tell you before we go any further," he breathed at a low murmur. "I love you Renesmee, I know I shouldn't, but I do. That's why I can't resist you, God the last two years have been damn near unbearable, but if this is want you want. I'm going to give it to you." As he spoke he positioned himself between my legs and I felt his bulge through his clothes brushing against me.
"You know I want you to Embry," I groaned restlessly. My permission was all it took for him to slide his only item of clothing off and enter me. He was slow and gentle as he took my innocence. All the while our eyes stayed connected as our bodies intertwined. He wrapped my legs around his waist and began to move within me slowly. The pressure hurt a little but it was nothing in comparison to the pleasure I felt being united with Embry.
"Is this okay," he groaned as he intertwined our fingers. I nodded in response.
"You, you can go faster." I moaned I tried to stay quiet. He chuckled at my request but obliged me. Faster was most definitely better. "OH GOD!" I yelled and he thrust against me. I lost myself in our love making as my heart raced, sweat began to cover my body, and tears flowed down my face. "OH EM, EMBRY! GOD, I LOVE YOU!"
Our high began to fade and our heartbeats slow to their regular pace. Although the love making had ended Embry continued to hold me in his arms. He kissed my shoulder and then placed his head at my heart. I looked up at the sky, the moon shining in a clear sky full of stars. A clear night was a true rarity for the town of Forks. Everything about today had been perfect. Embry Call was finally mine. I'd gotten everything I'd wanted for my birthday and then some.

Fate Got it Wrong

Disclaimer:  I don't own Twilight or any of the characters in it!

Lately, my rest had been uneasy. Uneasy was actually an understatement. I hadn’t been sleeping at all. I lay down beside Emily. She was blissfully unaware of my sorrow as of late. I was proud that I’d been able to shield her from my growing stupidity. I gently dragged myself from our marriage bed and shuffled into the living room area. I checked the time; it was 2:00AM. I sat and held my head in my hands. I needed to get over this; this feeling that I was now plagued with was making me a hypocrite. I was now the bitter one. I was overcome with the reoccurring feeling that it should be me.

It was time for me to continue my ritual of staring at the phone. I was trying to demonstrate strength, will power, but this was my last opportunity to talk to her before… tomorrow.

“Shit,” I murmured as I realized I wasn’t as strong of a man as I claimed to be. This woman had made me emotionally weak. I dialed the familiar number, put the phone to my ear and covered my face with my other hand. I listened to the phone ring, ring, and ring. What the hell was I doing? I should be shot! It wasn’t my place to interrupt her life, but I didn’t have the will power to put the phone down. I wanted to hear her voice, that’s all. As if on cue, she answered the phone.

“Emily?” Leah sounded sleepy and confused, but the tone of her voice warmed and relaxed me.

“Uh, no. It’s me… Sam.” I couldn’t have sounded more awkward if I’d tried.

“Oh… hey,” she slurred, and I assumed she was waiting for me to state my purpose for calling her the night before her wedding.

“So are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked a harmless question that would hopefully keep her on the phone long enough for me to get my fill of her.

“You mean today? You are aware that it’s like 2:12AM?” She grumbled and I heard her mattress shift I imagined her sitting upright and rubbing her eyes. “Since you asked, I’m nervous and I’m excited… it took me a long time to go to sleep,” she fussed and I chuckled under my breath.

“Sorry,” I lied. I was nowhere near sorry. I was actually reveling in the fact that we were having a conversation. She’d been in town for months now and this is the first time that we’d really spoken. I was shocked that she was even taking the time since she made a point of not inviting me to her wedding.

“No you’re not,” she snorted and then let out a breath. “What do you want Sam? What’s bothering you?” Damn, this woman knew me well, and since she knew me so well there was no point in me lying and claiming nothing was wrong.

“I’m bitter Lee. I haven’t felt right since you came back with that man.” I blurted out and waited as the minutes passed in silence. “Leah?”

“I’m still here… I just don’t know what you want me to say.” I couldn’t tell what emotion colored her voice.

“I don’t know either. I didn’t expect to feel the way I do, now that you’ve found someone else. I didn’t expect to hurt,” I confessed.

“Oh,” Again we were engulfed by silence. “I still don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry that you feel so… conflicted.” Her confusion was evident in her tone, but I could tell that concern was there too. It was good to have her feel concern for me.

“Why didn’t you want me at your wedding?” I’d felt wounded when everyone else was receiving their invitations and Emily and I were the only ones on the reservation left empty handed. I held the phone between my shoulder and the side of my face wanted to be closer to the sound of her voice.

“That was James’ idea… he doesn’t think very kindly of you, but that’s only because I couldn’t tell him about the imprint thing. He doesn’t like that you hurt me. He’s very protective that way.” She let out a little chuckle, I assumed at the thought of him, her husband to be; a tall, blonde headed fellow with bright blue eyes. He looked nothing like me; surely he couldn’t be her type.

“I don’t like that I hurt you.” She groaned out a sigh in response to my statement.

“Stop living in the past, forgive yourself. I forgave you a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been able to move on if I didn’t.” Hearing that she forgave me filled me with relief. I truly felt that at one time Leah knew me better than anybody in the whole world, and she loved me in spite of all the stuff she knew.

“I’m trying.”

“It’s been years, get over it!” She chuckled. “That’s what you all used to tell me” she said dryly. “To get over it.”

“I just wanted you to get over it because… I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I had hurt you. I didn’t want to be the reason you cried. I still loved you. I’d never felt so torn.” I heard her gasp as she took in my statement. I was shocked that she hadn’t realized that’s why I’d been so cold.

“Sam, why-- Why are you just now telling me all of this? You had years to confess, you’re being sort of selfish; more than kinda selfish.” She shifted again and then blew out a frustrated sigh.

“That’s always been my nature,” I laughed.

“Trust me, I know. I’m glad, though, that we’ve cleared the air. Maybe one day after James doesn’t see you as a jerk we can all get together for dinner or something.”

“So you’re staying in town?” Part of me, no, all of me was hoping she’d say no.

“Yeah, we’re buying a house in town. I want to be close to my mom because we want start a family soon.” A groaned slipped through without my permission.

“So you don’t phase?”

“I’m aggressively trying to stop. I’ve only phased twice since I’ve met James. He keeps me centered and happy.” I could hear the smile in her voice and I, being the selfish jerk that I am, hated her for it.

“That’s so nice,” I tried to seem happy for her.

“Why are you acting jealous? You are happily married, remember? Emily lights up your life. Our love has been dead for years.”

“It’s not dead, Leah, it’s not even comatose. I still remember you… all of you. Do you remember me? Do you remember how I used to hold you?” There was a long silence between us.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this now,” she whispered and then became quiet again. She wasn’t going to answer. “I love James, he loves me, and we’re getting married tomorrow. That’s all you need to know. It’s all I can offer you.”

I could hear the tears in her voice. I’d upset her and I didn’t want that. I just wanted …

“I just want you happy, Leah. I want you to receive all the love you deserve, all of the love I felt for you, and more, Lee, so much more.” I felt emotion swell in my throat. I felt like I had to let her go all over again.

“Sam… please.” She sniffled. I’d made her cry. I shook my head and swiped my face again; all I could offer this woman was pain.

“I know, I know, Lee. I’m sorry. I just… sometimes I think of you and I miss you, but I know I’ve kept you up too long. Get some rest and enjoy tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” she whispered sulking. “Goodnight Sam.”

“Goodnight Leah, sleep beautiful.” We hung up and I felt the new moisture on my face. It felt like I’d said goodbye and I’d never see Leah, ever again.

Once I’d collected my emotions I rose from the couch and returned to the woman that fate had decided was the one for me. But as I lay down and faced away from her, I couldn’t help feeling that fate had got it wrong.

The Pack

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Twilight.  SM gets all the credit there ... Also if you're under the age of 18 you may want to shield your eyes!
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The Pack

They’re on their honey moon now, committing all sorts of unnatural acts. I was stuck here in the dark and rain trying to figure out how she could love someone like Edward.  She didn’t think twice about me and now I’m here in my dad’s garage hiding from the world.  I’ve never been for crowds but lately I’d been even more closed off.  I felt like a failure.  I failed to make her see that my love was so much better than his.  I would’ve sacrificed my life for her and part of me knew that I still would.  I cracked open one of my dad’s beers; I took the whole six pack out there with me.  I needed to mellow, I was tired of phasing every night.  I wanted to move on but I was stuck.  I drank the beer three gulps and in it was gone.  I crushed the can in my hand and threw it to the ground.  I sunk down and rested my back against my car. 

“Number two,” I mumbled as I started on my next can.  Then I smelled it, a familiar perfume.  It was sweet and belonged to a woman that the whole world called bitter.  “Go away,” I griped.  Everybody had been coming by to cheer me up but I’d avoided them all.  Leah was unexpected, I figured that she wouldn’t have cared because she couldn’t stand Bella.  She was probably just here to rub it in or to tell me that I’d dodged a bullet.  She came around to the side of the car and stood in front of me dripping wet with her hands on her hips.  She wore a black summer dress that now clung to her body.  She huffed and rolled her eyes and sat down beside me. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked. 

“I’d phased and got caught in the rain.  Your house was the one I was closest to.  I needed a place to hide out for a while,” she explained.  She grabbed one of my beers without asking and opened it.  “You still moping over Bella?” She asked as she twisted her head only a little barely giving me any eye contact. 

“Fuck you Leah,” I whispered. 

“That’d be a yes,” she chuckled.  “You know I find it odd that everyone’s treating you nicely about your heart being broken and you weren’t even with Bella.  I lost Sam and I’m a bitch for not letting go.  I hate to tell you this Jacob but you’re acting like a bitch.”  I choked on my beer and burst into laughter.

“You may have a point,” I confessed. 

“We should make a pack to get over this together. We are both to damn good and hot to be suffering!” Leah raised her beer and clinked it against mine.  I looked at the small smile on her face and the sadness in her eyes and I realized the same emotion in me.  She was right why should we both suffer. 

“I have something better that could heal us both,” I murmured and scooted closer to her.  I needed to feel something other than hurt.  I found myself breathing heavier as I approached her and leaned my forehead against hers. 

“Jake, are you sure you wanna do this?” She whispered.  There were no more words to be said, there were only lips hers and mine touching.  This was much better than moping this was excellent.  She twisted her hands in my hairs and moaned.  She crawled into my lap and straddled me. I ran my hands along the sides of her body.  I went to kiss her again but she pulled away.  “This is madness,” she exclaimed. 

“I know but it feels go right?” She nodded, smirked and she kissed me once more. “Yeah I guess there are worse guys to be insane over.” She lifted her dress over her head.  I’d seen Leah naked in my head several times thinks to the damned mind link but in person her flesh was far more alluring.  All she had on was her pink panties.  I think that I was mesmerized by the mere sight of her and a little baffled at what I was supposed to do next.  “You’ve never seen a naked girl before have you?  Sometimes I forget I’m a bit older than you.” 

“Only by a couple of years,” murmured as I hesitantly reached out and smoothed my hand over her stomach.  I started circling the area around her belly button.  “You are really, really beautiful Leah.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. 

“You’re only saying that because I’m practically naked in your lap.  If I hadn’t here come today you’d still be thinking I’m a bitter harpy like the rest of them.” She mumbled. 

“I never thought like the rest of them.  I did think it was wrong that you exposed all of the other’s faults but I understood your heart Leah.  Just like you understand how I’m feeling now.” I ran my fingers along her jaw line.  She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of my touch.  She opened her eyes and the fire of lust raged within them.

“Lift your arms.” I did as she told me and she lifted my shirt over my head.  She wrapped herself around me like a scarf.  She sat in my arms for the longest time chest to chest.  As our hearts beat together I felt as though my heart new it wasn’t alone.  I took her hand in my and watched as I intertwined our fingers.  I looked at her and she was staring at me.  “Nobody’s ever been this gentle with me,” she whispered.  Her look saddened and my heart felt like it was breaking for her.  I took her face in my hands and kissed her again. 

“How far did you want to go Leah?” I whispered the question that was blaring in my head.  We were sitting here almost naked.

“All the way Jake, I don’t want to feel anything but you.” 

“Right here?” I asked in disbelief. 

“I don’t care.  This isn’t about romance, it’s about salvation of sorts.  Save me Jacob.”  She lay down on the rough floor and was ready to give herself to me, but something about this moment this space was wrong. I lifted her into my arms. 

“Not here,” I murmured.  I carried her quickly back into my room.  Luckily my dad was still asleep and he didn’t catch a glimpse of her nakedness. I lay her down on my bed and then removed my pants.  I wanted to ask her if she was sure again, but she removed her panties and playfully beckoned for me with her pointer finger.  I crawled up her body and placed a little kiss on her nose.  “I’ve never done this before Leah.” 

“I know … I won’t judge you too much.”  She giggled as she rubbed her nose against mine.  “I figured that’s why you’re hesitating too, must guys would’ve just stuck it in by now.”  I rolled my eyes at her and kissed her.  As we made out I maneuvered out of my boxer briefs.  Leah assisted me and opening her legs wider but I stumbled to enter her.  She broke our kiss and looked down. 

“Here, let me,” she whispered.  She took me in her hands and guided inside of her.  I entered her slowly and I watched her face in wonder and admiration.  She moaned softly as I went deeper.  She was so wet and so tight.  I was in awe of her.

“Faster Jake,” she moaned.  “Please!”  I nodded and began to really moved within her.  My nerves had completely disappeared.  I was being fueled by my own lust.  I thrust into her aggressively and she called out to me.  All of the pain and hurt I’d felt over the past few days had turned into raw lust.  “Oh Jake,” she called out again.”  She pulled me l closer to her and her nails dug into my shoulder blade as.  It hurt but the pleasure her body was giving me overrode that small discomfort. 

“Fuck,” uttered under my breath as we climbed higher.  She wrapped her long legs around my waist and locked her ankles.  She began to grind her pelvis to mine and a low groan hit the back of my throat.  That felt fucking magnificent. 

“Oh God,” she whimpered.  “Oh GOD, yes!”  Her movements began to quicken and I picked up the pace to match hers.  She clenched her eyes shut and as she moved faster still. 

“Leah, open your eyes.  I want to see you when you come,” I forced myself in her harder.  Tears were forming in her eyes. 

“That’s it Jake, that’s it!  Just like that … fuck!” 

“You’re so fucking beautiful Leah.”  I went to speak again but I felt her legs start to shake and she came gloriously, loudly, and all over me.  Her undoing started ignited something within me and I came seconds after her.  She closed her eyes and took at deep breath.  I kissed her forehead and watched as she regulated her breathing.  There was nothing but sweat and mangled sheets between us.

“Thank you Jake,” she whispered.

“The pleasure was all mine,” I said playfully as I slowly pulled out of her.  I lay at her side and stroked her hair.  “Do you … uh, do you think we’ll do this again?”  She arched her eyebrow at me and chuckled. 

“I’d hope that you’d have more in the tank … give me a minute to rest.” She closed her eyes again and I kissed her lips. 

“No I mean, like do you see this as just an one night affair?” I asked.  I didn’t want it to be this was the best and the most normal I’d felt in a really long time. 

“I really hadn’t thought that far into it Jake.  I didn’t plan to come over and do this with you tonight.  It’s weird how fate twists things sometimes.  I can’t give you any guarantees because I’m so messed up in the head, but I can give you right now … this very moment.” She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.  “You saved my life it’s the least I can do.”

“It works both way Leah you saved mine too.”