The Tale of Toya and Dalton: A Million Years to Say

The Tale of Toya and Dalton: A Million Years to Say

December 2013

Normally I didn’t mind working graduation even if they were a little sad. I watched as my classmates some of which had become dear, dear friends walked across the stage in the glorified black gowns decorated with sashes that indicated the accomplishments. I would fell a ping of dread but an overall proud feeling. However not this time, this time was most definitely different. I stood by the door handing out announcements and smiling at the parents and faculty. I smiled at them and made pleasantries all the while I wanted to vomit. There only a few moments left and he’d be gone. I felt my eyes start to water. It was my fault I shouldn’t have let myself get so attached. However, his clear blue eyes and perfect smile stole my heart the first time he glanced in my direction. I still remember the first time we’d spoken and how I could barely make eye contact with him. I was in awe the God had made someone as beautiful as him.

“Toya, did you hear me?” Josie waved her hand in my face and awakened me from my drab thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Did you want me to take over so you can step inside?” She asked as she reached for my announcements. Apparently it wasn’t a question. I crept inside just as they were starting the processional. I loved this part everyone seemed so full of pride, hope and promise. I smiled as I watched Andrew throw both his hands in the air as he walked off the stage. God that boy was goofy. Time seemed to be flying by there was only three more people before they got to him. I watched as he stood in line he didn’t seem nervous at all. The look in his eyes let me know that he’d kind of drifted into another world and wasn’t fully cognitive of the situation.


“Dalton Edwards,” They called his name and he stepped onto the stage he strolled toward the announcer with his normal confident swagger and then hit him with one of his award winning smile. He peered out into the crowd after shaking everyone’s hand and I swear for a split second our eyes locked. It was too much. I couldn’t believe that he was just going to walk out of my life and not know. I left the auditorium and decided to see if I could help elsewhere.

After the graduation was over some of the students were lingering around with their parents and I was cleaned up. Dalton and Andrew just happened to be two of the students that didn’t know how to leave. I went up to Andrew and gave him a big hug. “Congrats Drew don’t get too crazy tonight!” He squeezed me tighter. I liked the way it felt. It made me think that I mattered to him. Dalton was standing right across from him and his girlfriend Nikki was had her arms securely wrapped around his waist. I knew it would seem rude if I didn’t say anything but it hurt for me to even look in his direction. Every time I saw him with her it reminded me of how badly I’d screwed up. He’d been single for months and I never to the opportunity to let him know.

“Hi Toya,” he said dryly and I glanced at him.

“Oh Dalton I didn’t even know you were here,” I retorted. I kicked myself for it. Why couldn’t I just be nice?

“What was that? Congratulations … oh thank you Toya you’re too kind,” he narrowed his blue eyes at me but gave me that look that confirmed that I was most definitely a straight female. I rolled my eyes.

“It’s like way past time for you to leave Dalt, I’m sure you have other places to be.” I placed my hands on my hips all the while I’m screaming inside. Why do I keep pushing you away? I want you to stay!


“I don’t have to take this!” He smirked at me before him and his crew left the Monroe Center.

Everything was cleaned up and I was finally getting ready to leave when Dalton came barging through the double doors. He was wearing a frown which unlike him.

“Hey.”

“Hey, have you seen my phone?”

“Actually, I think someone turned one in,” I said I was actually happy to be useful to him. I went and retrieve the phone from the box and handed it to him. This was it my very last opportunity to say something to let him know. He’d told me that he was going home with his parents tomorrow and then I would be left to deal with my regret for the rest of my life.

“Congratulation Dalton, I really am happy for you,” I forced out the words it was so weird to actually be nice to him. Normally I was always picking and bothersome but that was only because I didn’t know any other way to relate.

“Thanks,” he said dryly. Part of me wanted to stop there and end on a fairly decent note. He turned to walk away from me and I searched my brain for something to say.

“I’m sorry that I’m always … I mean, I … I really valued your friendship Dalt, even though I didn’t always act like I did.” He turned to me and studied the expression on my face; his lips slowly rose into a smile.

“Toya, you never acted like you wanted me to bother you or be around you for that matter.”

“I know … it’s just the only way I knew how … to uh, umm … to relate to you.” I fumbled because I didn’t know what else to say.

“You always seemed to know how to relate with everybody else. What was it about me that made you feel as though you couldn’t relate to me?” He stepped closer and I stepped back. “I’ve been nothing but cordial to you, haven’t I?”

“Yeah, it’s just … I” I felt defeated I couldn’t find the words. I felt they’d forever be stuck in my throat and this moment would be etched in my mind as the worst punk out of my life. I turned my back to him and grabbed my purple peacoat. “Never mind Dalt, you better go you don’t want to leave Nikki waiting,” I said as I fumbled to put my coat on. I felt to hands behind me assisting me in my endeavor.

“Finish it Toya. What were you trying to say?” He rested his hands on my shoulders and my whole body froze. “I think I know what you were going to say.”

“Then why make me say it? You want to embarrass me don’t you?” I mumbled.

“No, I just … I thought it might be nice to hear what you really feel about me for a change.” He turned me around so he could look in his eyes. God, his eyes were so perfect … he whole face for that matter looked like it had be damned near craved from heaven.

“I have feelings … I care about you Dalt,” I said at a whimper and a whisper. I waited for him to reject me or to laugh but what he did next would make this day the very best day of my life. He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me. It was slow, sweet, and passionate everything I thought a kiss from Dalton would feel like.

“See that wasn’t so hard was it?” He breathed and then kissed my nose.

“No, it just took me a million years to say,” I chuckled and he kissed me again.

Remembering Leah Teaser

Introduction

No one really had any love for the female wolf.  They found her to be a bitter “drag” to be around.  So they left her in her hell to mourn the life she should have had.  Should have had Sam but fate deemed her cousin a better wife for him.  Her father should be alive but fate took him away from her far too soon.

She constantly felt she had to prove herself that’s what made her take on the last newborn during battle.  Only one wolf tried to help her, Jacob, but he was too late.  The sad thing was that even though Jacob tried to save Leah, his actions were more to spare Sue the hurt; it wasn’t because he remotely liked Leah at all.  So when he saw the newborn crushed her cranium against a boulder and rendered her unconscious, he like most of the others were shocked but indifferent in regards to her well being.   Leah’s body instantly went back to its human form and Emmett and Rosalie finished off the newborn.  Alice covered the female shifters body and tried to revive her.  Nothing, I heard nothing from her thoughts.  I only saw blackness.  We all would have thought she was dead if it wasn’t for her heartbeat.  That faint little thumb that was so weak that I was sure she was giving up.    

“The Volturi, she needs to be removed before their arrival.  I will come to her after we are finished,” Carlisle said in hushed and rushed tones before rejoining with Esme to address Aro. 

 The pack removed her …

Chapter 1:  Comatose

Sue leaned over her daughter crying.  “Oh God what happened?”  Sue cried, “Who is responsible for this!”  Carlisle brought me along with him to see if there was any mental activity going on inside of her, but right now Leah Clearwater’s mind remained a lifeless tomb.  The whole pack stood around her. 

“She should have listened.”  Sam said quietly.  He forced himself to feel no regret but in the back of his mind he remembered laughing and chasing Leah in a sundress up a hill when they were younger.  He had loved her and part of him remembered that love, but he felt to acknowledge that feeling for Leah would be disrespect for her current fiancée.  “Always so stubborn,” I felt the tension and ache in his throat as he masked his concern for the sake of his new fiancé.  I looked on Leah’s face she seemed at peace, it wasn’t as if she was dreaming, or more appropriately it seemed like her slate had been wiped clean. 

“All of that doesn’t matter now.  All that matters is that my sister wakes up.”  Seth stood by the doors frame while all of this transpired.  He was the one person that felt the appropriate hurt.  He felt like he was quickly losing everyone that he loved.  Leah had never been the bitter bitch to him that all of his pack makes saw her as.  She was a warm a protective sister.    

“That’s what I’m working on.”  Carlisle looked at me and I shook my head, there was nothing going on upstairs.  He sighed and covered Leah with the blanket and asked everyone to exit the room.  Everyone looked at my father waiting for a response. “I don’t know what information I can give you.  She’s in a coma … the bump on her head should be healed by morning.  However, that doesn’t guarantee that she will awaken by then.”  Her mother began to cry.  Emily tried to comfort her but she really wasn’t having it.  Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that my Bella had pulled Jacob to the side and was talking to him.  My skin boiled, I couldn’t believe that she was pissed at me because I let it be known that we planned to be married.  Her focus seemed to be on comforting him but his focus was on what was going on with Leah.  Now that Jacob knew that Leah could die he was concerned, he had known her since he was little.  It would be odd to not have her around.  He knew from now on he would be happy to have the harpy be a nag around him.    

“How long could she be out of it like this,” Sue looked up at Carlisle looked pleadingly. 

“Comas could last a couple days, weeks, months …” Then we saw her inch her way into the living room.  She held the wall with one hand and her head with the other.  She looked around the room wide eyed and alarmed.    

“Oh my God Leah you had us all worried sick!”  Her mother rushed to her and embraced her and Leah flinched away she looked at her mother as if she were somebody foreign.  Actually she was looking at everyone and everything that way. 

“Leah who is hugging you right now?”  I asked and Sue looked at her at me confused and then looked back at her daughter. 

“My … mom?”  Sue smiled; she didn’t realize that Leah was asking not answering the question.  She searched both Sue and my expression for validity or her deduction. 

“Do you know your last name?”  I asked and everybody started to catch on.  I heard someone in the background gasp and Emily say oh no.  Leah looked around embarrassed by her lack of familiarity and then tears welled up and then ran down her cheeks as she shook her head.  Carlisle stood in front of her trying to block everybody in the room, so that their stares and presence wasn’t so overwhelming.  “Tell me what going on in your head Leah.” 

“I’m confused and scared … I didn’t know my first name before she … my mom … said it.”  She sighed.  “My head hurts really badly.” 

“You should probably lay back down and rest.”  Carlisle tried to escort her back to the room so she could have the quiet she needed to remember everything. 

“But …,” she stalled, “I really wanted to see my face.”  He smiled sadly at her.  He gave her pity and empathy because that’s what she needed. 

“Of course young one,” he took her to mirror in the living room beside the front door and she looked at herself mesmerized. 

“That’s me … Leah.”  She sighed deeply and another tear rolled down her face.  I think she hoped actually seeing her face would bring back some memories of something but she didn’t receive anything not for lack of trying.  She continued to stare in silence and with a shaky hand touched some of the features of her face.  I look a lot older than I feel, she thought. 

“You don’t want to strain for memories Leah, they will come naturally, I promise to do everything I can to help you.”  Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder and she embraced him.  It was the first time I’d ever witnessed Leah actually be nice to one of our kind and think on them with positivity.    

“I really hope you can.”  She said between sobs as she continued to cling to him.  

Want More?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6763088/1/Remembering-Leah

The Only Man I'll Ever Love

I’ve never pretended to be strong

I never pretended to be smart or beautiful

I just wanted to feel the high of pressing against you

You the man I chose

And will choose time and time again

You the man I care for and want to speak to daily

You the man that I cry for and yearn for

You the man who causes my heart to be heavy

I thought I could disconnect and not feel

But when you touch me I melt

Involuntarily

I fall as you Fall Back

Leaving me to deal  . . . making me stronger

But hurting me at the same time

But . . .

You . . . the man I want more than anything

You the man I crave

You the man I ache and throb for

Will never know my real pain because I will never share my secret obsession

I will never let you in that deep

I will never look into your eyes as you thrust inside of me

Then you’ll know my secret . . .

You’d have to be blind not to see it . . .

You could be blind and not want to see

I know I don’t want to feel

That strongly

I just want to be in your arms

Comforted by your warmth

I’ll clench my pillow tonight and pretend it’s you

I’ll let my head wrap around all of our memories and pretend it’s a great romance

I’ll save my sobs for tomorrow . . . and pray that tomorrow never comes

All I wanted was to be in your arms.

Untitled Poem

What’s in the heart

I know what’s in mine . . . it’s been wrapped up tight and confined

Unleash to let go

Of the ugliness inside

Intense beat

Continuous boom

Threatening sounds of being doomed

Don’t let me go . . . I’ll drown. Will God save me? Will He save me if I jump?

I want . . .

I desire . . .

The things that my heart tells me I require

The intense pull that is the want of your touch . . . with that death could come.

Because with out it what am I?

I am nothing if not a reflection of you and what you want me to be?

So now what will you do?

Do you know what your heart is telling you?

Eye contact - a scary thing as he pulled me into his arms, I will love you until it kills you for you are mine. I will not allow you to surrender, the deepest part of my heart releases a sigh as we embraced. It was fate.

Not A Little Girl Anymore

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from Twilight!!

(A side note from Awakening the Elements before Ness’ 10th B-Day)

“I don’t need a babysitter anymore Embry, get out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. Embry just sat on our couch and stared at me like I was losing my mind. “I’m serious! Mase isn’t here so you don’t have to be either!” I snapped. Normally, I loved for Embry to be in my space and around me, but he was being stupid. He said he viewed me as a kid sister and I wasn’t having it. I was so tired of this façade.

“Ness, you’re only eight years old,” he scoffed and went back to watching television,” I went to the door and opened it for him.

“Apparently you’re like eighty, I told you to get out!” I fumed and stomped my foot. In hindsight I realized my mannerisms were much like that of a tantrum.

“Edward, said he much rather I be here looking after you while he and Leah were gone. I thought you’d be happy, Rose has Mase and the two of us get to hang out for a week. I was excited about it until you started to freak out.” I closed the door in defeat he wasn’t going anywhere. I was tired of screaming and I needed a drink. As I walked past Em, I noticed that he looked me up and down like he always did. I was thankful I wore my black shortie shorts today, I’d paired it with a pink tank and I looked pretty good. I opened my Pepsi and sat in the chair to the side of him and watched him passively. He took his hair tie of his wrist and pulled his hair into a ponytail. God, I was so thankful he’d let his hair grow back. I slurped on my beverage and he smirked a little at me. He got up and approached me.

“I know how to make you stop pouting,” he threatened.

“Don’t Em, that stopped being funny when I was six!” I warned and put my foot up in an attempt to block him from what he was about to do.

“It stopped being funny to you, but to me it never gets old.” He moved my foot to the side and proceeded to tickle the hell out of me. I arched my back and started to squirm relentlessly. I hated that I was ticklish, it seemed like a weakness of sorts. I was breathless from laughter and couldn’t take anymore.

“Embry … please, you’re killing me,” I said between fits of laughter and he eventually stopped his merciless attack.

“I wouldn’t want to kill you,” he murmured softly as he placed a strand of my hair behind my ear. The look in his eyes said it all. I mirrored the feeling in my heart and what we’d grown into. Embry created this weird delicious twinge in the pit of my belly that I grown to acknowledge as love, desire, and want. It was nerve racking yet intriguing at the same time.

“Embry,” I breathed his name as I moved closer to him. I lips were now a breath away from his.

“I … I … should feed you.” He said as he dashed away from quickly. “Did you want me to cook or we could order something.” I shrugged off his question. I knew what I wanted I would never have.