Friday, July 31, 2015

Tammy's Baby and other Black and Grey thoughts ...

Okay so I have been juggling with this idea in my head for sometime.  I can't decide if and when Tamera will end up pregnant.  Part of me feels like if I make her pregnant now it will follow the FSOG story too closely.  I personally know that if I were Tam I wouldn't want to get pregnant right away ...

I have idea of how it will go down (I won't spoil it by telling in case I decide to use it.) I think the next five chapters or so of Black and Grey are going to be really good but I promised myself I would work on another Fanfiction first in order to be fair to the others.  I have been very B&G focused.

I will share this if you are reading The Young Adventures of Ted and His Tam the next few chapter will make more sense to you.

Black and Grey Confessions ...

Ted and Tam weren't supposed to get together as quickly as they did in B&G2

It was supposed to be a racial thing with Ana and Tam but I was advised not to get into that so I changed it.  (Most of the time I regret it)  More of Tam's family was supposed to be utilized but I didn't because I felt the story was straying into using more of my original characters than those who were in the actual book.

The whole idea for Black & Grey stemmed from this question:

What if Christian Grey dated a black woman?

But Tam herself wasn't a typical black woman. (Or at least I don't consider her a stereotypical black woman).  So much so that I don't think her race really even matters in the book.

Originally, Gina was going to be the cause of everything going on but I changed it.  It seemed too predictable.

Tamera is the most "Mary Sue" character I ever created I gave her a few of my issues on steroids because I needed to work through them plus I feel it gave her more character.  It made her real.

I wanted Ted to be Prince Charming ... but a little spoiled and rich. Sometimes I think he doesn't have enough character without Tam.  I could actually fix that with a few drabbles.

There will not be a B&G3, I made this decision this week.  After B&G is over I will post drabbles but no more fanfiction after I have completed my WIP (at least that's what I'm saying today lol).

I think that's it!!!!  

Dear World

Dear World,

I am A.J. and I am alone.  I think you believe I am meant to stay this way.  I am writing to tell you I am getting older and I need companionship.  I don't what shields are blocking friends, intimacy, and all the other things normal humans experience from me?  I don't know if you are the cause or if I am.  I just felt I should vent to you because of lack of anyone to talk to.  So World, I have been put here to be the ultimate submissive.  Everyone in my life seems to want to led me in their direction.  The control me and I let them due to past failures.

But World you don't understand and neither do they ... I have a mind.  I have a desire to see and feel.  I have a desire for friends.  REAL friends.  I have plenty of people to make nice with on the surface.  I want people to miss me when I am gone.  People to text me when I disappear.  People who care.  World, why doesn't anybody care?

Why isn't my personality enough for at least friendship?

Everybody leaves...

Oh well hopefully, one day you will share some answers with me.  You know where I will be.



Sunday, January 4, 2015

2015 Resolution

I really would like to post more.  I want to express myself more.  I am ... constantly in my RL silenced or placed on mute. The silence is self inflicted because I hate confrontation.  The more I create a RL the more I get pulled away from be safe little fantasies but when I'm gone too long long from my fantasies I miss them desperately.

So this year I plan to force time to be creative and be more vocal.

What are your resolutions?

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Getting Ready for Some Taddy Writing!

Look at the awesome picture one of my readers sent me for my birthday.  It's a pic of Tam's parents.  I didn't even think to look for a picture of them together.  They are actually filming together now.  I really called this one they look great together :-)

So let me know are you still enjoying Black and Grey 2?  I hope you are because it is one of my favorite stories I've written.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dear Heart

It is time to move on already!  I know you think that you control everything and just because you want it we should obtain it.  The pain you are causing us it too much for me to process on a daily basis.  So please being the process of handling rejection so that we can move on from this matter.  I know you and how you like to hang onto the littlest glimmer of hope.  However, there's absolutely nothing to hang onto in this case.  Please stop reminding us all of how beautiful He is.  His image has been downloaded into the memory bank plenty of times.  Trust me we all know how beautiful He is.

You are causing the Libido to go insane and causing other organs (I'd rather not mention) to ache.

Your admiration for Him is one sided and is borderline obsessive.  We need to get back to normal business of daily grind and forward movement.  The rest us are ready to say goodbye to the memory of Him.  It's time to get on the same page.



Monday, September 15, 2014

Dear Him Part 2

Dear Him,

I just want to say I'm sorry for my immature antics regarding my infatuation with you.  I had loose lips regarding my want and you wound up getting harassed and that wasn't my intention. I just couldn't keep it to myself.  I couldn't tell you because I was scared.

I could handle you telling me no ... you don't feel it like I do.

It's a feeling so strong within me and I'm left without a release since I will never see you again.

I would also like to say thank you.  Thank you for dealing with my inner crazy with such tact.  You still respected me even though I'm sure I made your life miserable.

You are truly an honorable man and the woman that actually gets you is truly, truly lucky.

I envy her.