Sunday, November 9, 2014

Getting Ready for Some Taddy Writing!

Look at the awesome picture one of my readers sent me for my birthday.  It's a pic of Tam's parents.  I didn't even think to look for a picture of them together.  They are actually filming together now.  I really called this one they look great together :-)


So let me know are you still enjoying Black and Grey 2?  I hope you are because it is one of my favorite stories I've written.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Dear Heart

It is time to move on already!  I know you think that you control everything and just because you want it we should obtain it.  The pain you are causing us it too much for me to process on a daily basis.  So please being the process of handling rejection so that we can move on from this matter.  I know you and how you like to hang onto the littlest glimmer of hope.  However, there's absolutely nothing to hang onto in this case.  Please stop reminding us all of how beautiful He is.  His image has been downloaded into the memory bank plenty of times.  Trust me we all know how beautiful He is.

You are causing the Libido to go insane and causing other organs (I'd rather not mention) to ache.

Your admiration for Him is one sided and is borderline obsessive.  We need to get back to normal business of daily grind and forward movement.  The rest us are ready to say goodbye to the memory of Him.  It's time to get on the same page.

Sincerely

Brain

Monday, September 15, 2014

Dear Him Part 2

Dear Him,

I just want to say I'm sorry for my immature antics regarding my infatuation with you.  I had loose lips regarding my want and you wound up getting harassed and that wasn't my intention. I just couldn't keep it to myself.  I couldn't tell you because I was scared.

I could handle you telling me no ... you don't feel it like I do.

It's a feeling so strong within me and I'm left without a release since I will never see you again.

I would also like to say thank you.  Thank you for dealing with my inner crazy with such tact.  You still respected me even though I'm sure I made your life miserable.

You are truly an honorable man and the woman that actually gets you is truly, truly lucky.

I envy her.


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Did I tell You?

Some of my works are now on WattPad for your view pleasure!



  • Black and Grey 
  • Black and Grey 2
  • What Was Left Behind
  • Release Me 
  • Wide Awake
  • The Pack 
  • Love and Vanilla is the Flavor
  • and More to come ...

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Dear Him

Dear Him,

You know who you are.  I don't know how this happened.  I guess it was just me wishfully thinking that God laid you aside for me.  When I look upon you I see ... perfection.

Everything I've every wanted.  I just want to know you and every time I think maybe you feel it too I feel let down.

Please know that I'm not a toy.  Please don't play with me ... not my emotions anyway.  What I want is simple.  Our time together is running short.  I just want a sign that you may be interested in meeting me.  We should start slow just to see if when we both come out of our shell our we people that we'd even want to interact with.  I think it will hurt me greatly to have to leave that place and to never know what you were thinking in regards to me.

I wish I had the time to move slow.  I just want to give you my number. Just in case you're curious too.

But deep down I know that it's something I will never do ...

So Mr. Him, know that there was this woman who wanted you more than anything and that she literally ached to get to know you.  She's not crazy she just extremely sigh and doesn't want to be hurt.  So writing this here is the best she can do.

Good luck in everything you do and I will miss you.

AJ

Monday, August 18, 2014

Ugly, Ugly Me




I just want someone to think I'm pretty ...
To take a moment to look at me and be mystified
For their breath to still, caught in their throat

They are drawn to me ...
Something I possess
They approach me with a simple "hello"
But it is so much more


It is I want you ...
It is I adore you ...

This look in your eyes I will never see
Because I am immature and foolish
Because I am not the shape of an hourglass
Because my skin is two shades darker than mocha

Because I view myself as ugly
And that's what you see ...

Ugly, ugly me ....

Sunday, August 17, 2014

For Him



This is something I wrote before I found out he was kind talkin' to somebody.  Even though it really sucks I did get a really good poem out of it .. 

I'm sure how to read you
All I can be sure of is
All the things you don't do ...

You don't talk to me
You don't even look at me
It leads me to believe 
You are not the one for me 
Even though I want to be 
Wrapped up in your everything.

Just some silly ramblings by a girl with insecurities 
That wants to be the one you need 
But would never believe you could want me .... 

I dream about you constantly 
You wake me from my haunting dreams
And make it impossible for me to sleep

It's sad because we never speak
All it takes is one simple thing
Just take one good look at me
It's enough to make the same old thing 
Keep happening ...

I don't want to want you 
Not unless you want me too

I guess there's nothing I can do
 But wait until I"m done with you or hope to fall for someone new.

The Stigma of Social Media ... Are all Men Like this?

Lately, I've been having a problem with my self worth. I am wondering how I am viewed through the eyes of others.... this one guy I work with makes a point of stating how he only likes white women and it leaves me feeling like my complexion isn't attractive. He talks about people's weight again making me feel ugly. I have struggled a long time mainly in high school with this. It hurts that it is once again an issue in my life. I know not everyone thinks like he does ... but do most people?

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Manless Woman ... Who Amounts to Nothing

I wish I could trust people ... 
However life has thought me to expect the worst and that the best very rarely comes.  
I've done what I considered my best but I've become tired of trying.  
This is my life and I've surrendered to it.
I was born with two strikes
I'm dark skinned
I'm female
and in my stupidity I've added the third and final strike by being larger than life.  
I have no respect ... nothing is really mine and death is not an option trust me I've tried.  
I've attempted to end the pain several times.  
But I'm doomed ... beaten down and stuck here.  
I'm trapped in these four walls that I loathe, unable to experience life because I can withstand no more hurt.  I don't trust people enough to be kind.
This is what happens when I have too much time alone.  
I think, I analyze, and I'm brutally honest with myself.
No one will ever love me.  I'm not pretty enough.  
I will not be promoted.  I'm not smart enough.
I will only have the life I've dreamt of through the stories I've created.
And He, well ... He likes Asians.  
The truth hurts but sometimes it's good to remind myself where I stand.  
I will forever be a manless woman ... who amounts to nothing 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Now on FictionPad




Hey everyone I just wanted to take a minute to let you readers know that my stories are also now on FictionPad.  I will provide you with the link below.  Please show them some love even if you are following me on FF.net they haven't gotten replies yet :-)


The next two stories I plan to update are The Pack and Release Me.  I haven't updated Release Me in quite a while I am in the mood to write a little drama.



I also added The Pack to Tricky Raven I am really glad that it seems to be doing well.


AJ Costo on FictionPad

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Compromise: A Black and Grey Moment




Author’s Note: This was for all of you who may have been wondering what happened with Teddy and Tam hit the tub the night Teddy confronted Ben about his feeling for Tam. Give it a read if you were curious.

A Black and Grey Moment: Compromise

Teddy sat in his tub with his prized possession wrapped tightly in his arms. Tam rested her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes. She didn’t know if the warmth of the water of the nearness of Teddy that made all the stress of the day disappear. She sighed deeply and inhaled the lavender scents of the bubbles surrounding her. Teddy kissed her shoulder and the crook of her neck.

“What are you thinking about Tam Cake?” Teddy murmured against her skin and it made her tingle all over.

“I’m trying my best to think about anything. I just want to focus on how I feel right now in this moment,” she answered honestly without even bothering to opens her eyes.

“So what are you feeling?” Teddy asked because he just wanted to hear her voice. It seemed like they hadn’t talked much that day.

“I feel comfortable, relaxed, safe, and … this is extremely corny Teddy,” she teased. Teddy hunched his shoulders indifferent to her accusation. He gathered her hands in his.

“If you can’t be corny with me, who can you be corny with?” He chuckled and she did too.

“True enough. I feel loved and adored. Be careful you may spoil me and I will expect this type of behavior from you all the time,” she warned before turning around so she could face him. She viewed her fiancé who sat their wet and amazingly naked. Teddy scooted towards her and placed her in his lap, their nakedness touching. He engaged her in a long, slow, passionate kiss. She smoothed her hands along the sides of his face. A low groaned escaped Teddy as he pulled her closer to him and tried to become even more intense.

“Teddy,” she breathed as she pulled way. He tried to kiss her again and she dodged. “I was serious about us waiting … it’s only for a few days.”

“I was seriously about thinking that idea is stupid Tam! Can’t you feel how much I need you baby?” He murmured in that voice that let Tam know he wasn’t going to let her protest without a fight. Teddy’s hard on was brushing against Tam in the most indecent way. She gasped and tried to fight the urges being stirred within her.

“Teddy please, you don’t think it would be even a little romantic if we were to wait. It will be new to us all over again on our wedding night. I think that would be pretty special.” Teddy moved against tauntingly as she spoke.

“I think it could be pretty romantic right now. You remember the first time we took a bath together and how eager you were to please me? You straddled me much like you’re straddling me right now. I’m sure that we could have a little wet sex like what you hoping for that night. Now that you’re more experienced we could most definitely make it work.” He kissed her neck and cupped her breasts in his hands before squeezing them. Tam let out a hiss of satisfaction.

“Teddy,” moaned. She thought quickly. “We need a compromise, you got anything,” she panted. Teddy leaned her back just enough so that he would have better access to placing her left nipple in his mouth. He teased it with his tongues and grazed it a coupled times with teeth.

“Oh shit,” she whispered.

“That’s right give in to me baby,” Teddy murmured before switching his attention over to her right breast. Tam found herself easily falling under Ted’s spell. Her hand traveled below her navel to her center to try to soothe the ache that Teddy had caused. He watched as she played with herself to a few seconds before her pulling her hand up out of the water.

“No, no Tam Cake, that’s my toy you can’t play with!” He teased as he sucked on her fingers that had just been drenched in Tam’s essence. Tam’s eyes became hooded as she watched Teddy suck on her fingers. He smirked at her before kissing each one of her knuckles. He could see the conflict mingled with the lust in Tam’s hazel eyes. “Turn around baby,” he whispered. Tam did as he directed her back was now against his chest. Teddy allowed his work Tammy into quite the frenzy and he leisurely made his way down to where her fingers were recently playing. As soon as his fingers reached her center she let out a small whimper.

“I know baby,” he whispered.

“Do you really?” Tam breathed. “Do you know what you do to me?” She turned his head so she would have better access to his lips. As they kissed Teddy began to relentlessly crush his fingers into Tam.

“Ah, ah shit!” She yelled as she broke their kiss. Teddy continued his rigorously thrust into she collapsed against him fully sated. They lay in the water silent for a few moments.

“Teddy?”

“Yeah?”

“The water’s getting cold. You wanna get out and then maybe I can think of a way to return the favor?” Tam said as dragged herself from off top of him and exited the tub.

“I like the way you think Ms. Black,” Teddy teased.

“Anything for you Mr. Grey.” She winked at him and sashayed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

Monday, April 28, 2014

The Monster Within Reaches 100!



Today my angsty fanfic The Monster Within broke the triple digits for reviews.  I would like to think everyone who is reading this story!  I don't why but I always get happy when my story reach this goal.  I just the thought that people took the time to write something (whether it be positive or negative) about my brain child is a real accomplishment.  



So thank you and major hugs!  I hope you continue to read and support the inner workings of my loopy head.  

Luv, 

AJ 

PS - If you haven't read the first few chapters of this story check out the link below ....

Friday, March 21, 2014

Various Emotions: Liz and Sky


Okay guys this is one of my first attempts at playing with Gimp ... I tried to make a picture of Liz and Sky from the Various Emotions of Liz and Sky.  Let me know what you think.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Black and Grey Moment


"I uh." Ted tried to form words but he kept staring at her chest and then her legs. He wanted her to turn around so that he could get the full view. Tam wanted to cover herself but then he would see her toy. "I've been trying to call you and you didn't answer and it was getting late so I worried. I never would have thought that you would … that you'd be occupied. Why are you half naked and looking like you do?" He cleared his throat and then swallowed hard.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Teaser for Next Chapter Update!


 

Guess which story this is for!!

“You’re right I am very sure of myself about most things, but love … that’s hard.  It’s hard to … trust, especially since I’ve been let down in the past.”  She looked up at me and I stood there watching my love in the moonlight.  She gazed upon me with tears in her eyes.