The Monster Within

WARNING AND DISCLAIMER: This is fan fiction and I own none of the characters involved in this one shot. Also this piece is for mature audiences only. If you are under 18 please DO NOT read, if you are grown enjoy ...

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The Monster Within



I wish I could say Bella and I lived happily ever after. I’d love to say that we raised our child in peace and that’s where our supernatural fairy tale ends.



But …



Vampires are selfish by nature, if someone or something catches our eye we must obtain it. I’d been masking my desires for months now. I’ve a new hunger, it attacked me at night.



It all began at the first sight of her copper flesh. One night Jasper and I went out, just the two of us, to hunt and we inadvertently stumbled back onto familiar territory.



I wasn’t in my right mind. I had allowed myself to be consumed by all things vicious and carnal. It was then that I laid my eyes upon her. She’d just transformed from beast back to her human form. She was such a glorious form, her curves where much more “womanly” than my wife’s. She had curves and dips my hands itched to touch, and since I wasn’t in my right mind I stalked her with aggression. She turned to face me and her eyes were bright with horror. I quickly pinned her body to a nearby tree and hitched her leg to my hip. I clenched both of her wrists over her head with one of my hands. I hissed my satisfaction at making her helpless. The nude, female shifter was too exhausted to phase back, and all of her attempts to fight for release where lame and a waste of time.



“Get off ME!” She screamed as she tried to pivot her hips and push me away from her. I derived a sick sort of pleasure knowing that she was vulnerable and defenseless. The more she squirmed, whimpered, and screamed, the tighter I held her in my snare. “GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING LEECH!” She began to sob, “Please.” After a few moments she gave up her struggle. She knew that there was nothing she could do to stop me from devouring her. However, when she stopped struggling, for some reason I was left empty. I didn’t want her numb, I wanted her alive and trashing. After a moment I felt as my brother ripped Leah and me apart. I fell back to the ground and watched as Leah slumped down where she had been standing, covered her face, and began to sob uncontrollably. I watched as my brother tended to her, offering her his shirt. Jasper gaped back at me in disbelief.



What the hell were you thinking? he thought, clear as day. I shook my head. I wanted to have a logical answer but there was none. Even now that my rage had subsided I waited for a revelation, or at least guilt over what I had done, to kick in. I felt nothing, no remorse only confusion.




The sick thing was the hunger that now dwelled in me. Simple love-making was no longer enough. Although I knew I still loved my wife I didn’t feel it the same way I once had. The hunger attacked the pit of my stomach. It was creating a new monster within me that didn’t like being contained, it was selfish, vicious, perverted, and it wanted Leah desperately.





For over a month I’ve avoided Charlie’s house. Sue and her children had moved in a couple weeks back. I couldn’t even take my own daughter to see her grandfather for fear Leah would be there.



Bella was beginning to feel the distance and see the change within me. “What’s wrong Edward? What can I do to change your mood?” Bella asked me one night as she attempted to seduce me. I wanted to tell her the truth. To alter my mood she’d have to become someone else and she’d have to let me attack her. Oh the naughty thoughts that consumed my brain, all of them surrounding my temptress and my desire to fuck her senseless.



I lied to my wife.



I bedded her roughly until sunrise but I was still not satisfied. This had become the cycle of my life, I’d become bitter and I hated the she-wolf because of it. The haunting memory of her flesh, her curves, had ruined my happily ever after.

My goal was to never see her again.



However, I knew that goal was impossible. Our families were now connected and it was only a matter of time before our paths crossed again. My daughter had grown fond of Leah. Luckily, she was a mature enough woman not to shun my daughter on the basis of my stupid, impulsive actions.



The simple fact that Renesmee enjoyed Leah’s company had landed me in my current situation. Bella was supposed to have picked Renesmee up, but she and Alice were running late, doing whatever it was they do.



Night had fallen and I was about to knock on Charlie’s door and I knew Leah was inside. I reached to rap my knuckles on the door when it swung open. There stood my temptress. The mere sight of her reawakened the monster and it infuriated and excited him at the same time. She was alarmed by my presence; she’d obviously been expecting Bella. Immediately our last encounter ran through her mind. She stepped to the side and allowed me into the house.

The living room lights were off and my daughter lay sleeping on the couch while the credits of some movie played. Leah grabbed the two large plastic bowls off the floor. As she bent over I surveyed her, she was wearing an extremely oversized button up flannel shirt, with a white tank underneath, and very, very short grey shorts. As I viewed her I imagined the buttons ripping off and falling to the floor.



She strolled into the kitchen trying her best to ignore me. In her mind she was calling me every profanity under the sun. This was my opportunity to make it right, to defeat my inner monster, and get Leah to forgive me for being a perverted cad.



I entered the kitchen behind her; she had her back toward me as she placed the bowls in the sink and gripped the edge of the counter. She refused to turn around and acknowledge my presence. I decided that I was going to have to speak eventually if my plan was going to work at all.



“Thank you for taking care of Renesmee,” I said, trying to sound pleasant, likable even. She still said nothing. She was trying to control her temper. She didn’t want to phase, she remembered what had happened last time. She couldn’t afford to not have enough strength to fight me. Seeing myself through her eyes, my mouth was blood stained and my eyes were as black as coal. It was me at my darkest; no wonder she wanted no part of me. She still wasn’t sure what I wanted from her that night, I wasn’t either. Did I want to kill her, rape her, or both?



“I’m sorry… about that night.” I willed myself to mean it, but the monster in me disagreed. He wanted to pick up where we’d left off. She began to shake all over and she sniffled slightly. Was she crying?



“Take your daughter and get the fuck away from me!” She whispered her words, but they were hard and nasty. I turned to leave but the monster in me was aroused by her vicious tongue and her hatred for me. I approached her quickly and forced her to turn around and face me. I had her pinned to the sink. I covered her mouth so she wouldn’t scream. My monster was very, very much pleased. I held her tighter and her muffled screams and resistance only served to gratify him further.



“Listen to me! I’m not going to hurt you, I only want to talk. I want to be honest with you and myself. I’m NOT sorry, but I really want to be. I-” I was at a loss for words. “I want to make you scream. I want to make you squirm and fill your pretty brown eyes with tears while I fuck you harder than you can imagine. I want to hear you beg… beg me for more or to stop, I really don’t care. I want you naked and I want to claim you as my own. I really wish I didn’t want all this, but I do.” Leah stared at me in shock; it was a lot to process. I felt some sort of sick release, revealing my darker side to her. I removed my hand from her mouth because she was too baffled to scream. She blinked a couple of times and then she slapped me. Oh, how the monster loved that.



“Get. The. Fuck. Off. Me.” She squirmed. God, I wished she hadn’t done that, the more she moved the more aroused I became. “Get off! Get OFF!”



“Stop! Shut up or I will fuck you right here where we stand.” I shook her forcefully and then held her tightly to me. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to want to hurt you.” I grabbed and squeezed her behind and groaned in her ear.



“Oh God, you’ve gone crazy!” She whispered in horror. She placed her hands on my shoulders and decided on a new tactic. “Look, you are not yourself, you don’t know what you’re saying, and I forgive you. Just go grab your daughter and go home.” She was talking gently as if trying to soothe a dangerous animal. Even the thoughts of my sweet, innocent Renesmee weren’t enough to make my my hunger subside.



“I can’t live like this. I’ve decided I must have you, Leah, and I can’t deny this need to be inside you.” I forcefully ripped her flannel shirt apart and the sound of the buttons hitting the floor was as sweet as I’d imagined, I closed my eyes and savored the sound.



“Edward please… listen to reason.” I moved my hands from her bottom and allowed my hands to cup her breasts.



“I told you I love the sound of you begging, Leah, it becomes you. It only makes me want this more.” I ducked my hands under her shirt and she frantically started trying to stop my hands’ endeavor to explore her body.




“Please, no Please,” she whimpered as my hands reached their desired goal. I pulled down the cups of her bra and allowed my cold fingers to stroke her nipples and cause them to pucker and harden. “Stop, what about Renesmee? Would you want someone to do this to her?” That statement rang through my head;, it cooled the beast momentarily. It was enough of a distraction for Leah to rush into the living room and wake my daughter and ruin our fun. I quickly exited the house. I couldn’t let my child see me in my current state. I was a crazy, horny mess.





The monster in me was now angered and confused. My marital bed had now been replaced four times due to vigorous use. I can’t remember the last time Bella and I “made love”. I didn’t know if she realized the difference in our activities, I wasn’t sure if she cared. I only knew that when I entered her, and during our union I kept my eyes sealed shut and imagined she was my temptress. I imagined ruining her. I’d even gone as far as to move Bella’s and my activities outside few times to try to recreate that moment. It wasn’t what I wanted and the monster was not fooled or pleased with my attempt at trickery.

I’d come to the conclusion that I was meant to miserable forever.



My days became dry and I was becoming numb. I could barely respond to my own child. I was falling into the same depression I’d been in before I met Bella.

The next time I was placed in hell, aka Charlie’s house, was two weeks after the night I had groped Leah in the kitchen. This time she was upstairs in the shower. I watched in her own thoughts as she caressed the more private parts of her body. To my surprise, she closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to drift to me. I saw us through her mind’s eye; we were in the kitchen with my hands squeezing her breast. She had altered the memory, the need for her was still forceful, yet she saw me kissing her and touching her between her thighs, the same pace her fingers now explored and caressed. She pleasured herself to this vision and I committed her soft moans to memory.



“What’s wrong, Daddy?” It wasn’t until my daughter approached me that I realized that I was clenching the arm of the chair I was sitting in. I was sure I’d left a dent in it. Renesmee then wrapped her arms around me; I forced myself to smile at my child.



“Nothing, nothing sweetheart I was just thinking.” I heard the shower water stop and Ness looked toward the stairs.




“Yay, Leah’s out of the shower! I’m going to get her!” My daughter ran upstairs, to where I wanted to be. Bella was in the kitchen with Sue and Charlie and I was sitting in the living room, half aroused and mad as hell.





I finally made it home. Ren had decided she wanted to spend the night at Charlie’s house. Again she was where I wanted to be. Bella was at the main house chatting with Alice and I was just sitting in the cabin and staring into the nothingness that was before me. Again I was numb and uncaring of the world around me that was until I heard a knock on my door.

I opened the door and she stood there with a frown on her face. “Is Bella here?”



“No, is there something I can assist you with?” Leah shifted her feet and huffed.



“Uh yeah, actually Renesmee left her favorite book. I decided to come and get it while she was at the movies with Charlie and Mom. She likes it when I read to her.” Leah thought if she spoke of Renesmee nothing bad would happen to her; that my mind would stay focused on my daughter and not the skin tight black jeans and green cami that she was wearing. But unfortunately for her I could focus on many things at once.



“Of course, come in, and I’ll get it for you.” I tried to sound friendly, but my tone came off kind of creepy. I opened the door wider and she stayed put.



“Uh, I can wait here. It’s not raining outside or anything.” I smirked; Leah was a smart girl. If she’d come in I would’ve had my way with her.



“Right; one moment.” I quickly retrieved the book and handed it to her. She reached out her hand to take it from me, and I wouldn’t let go. She tugged again and I wouldn’t budge.



“Beg me, Leah,” I whispered. “If you want it you’ve got to beg. and I know you want it.” She looked at me confused; she hadn’t realized that I was there when we dropped Ness off.



“Give me the damned book! Why are you so damned weird? Can’t you just be normal?” She pulled harder but the book was still held between us.



“I was. I was normal and happy with my life until you. This is your fault Leah; your body keeps taunting me with its essence. The mere thought of you excites me and it makes it hard for me to pretend to to be happily married when I all I want am to fuck the shit out of you." She sucked in a breath of air.



“Oh boy, okay, just keep the damned book. I’ll find something else to do with the kid.” She twisted around to leave, but I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t tell if she was uncomfortable, aroused, or a little of both.



“Take the book, Leah.” I released it this time and grabbed her around her waist and pulled her inside my home.



“NO Edward, no,” She partly yelled and squirmed. She was panting and there was a faint smell that was unique to our other encounters. I recognized it as arousal; her scent was much more intoxicating than my wife.



“Don’t act like you don’t want this. I saw your thoughts in the shower. You want my hands here.” I squeezed her breasts and to her credit she tried not to enjoy it, she tried not to moan. Her flesh felt like it was on fire. I pinned her to our front door and snatched her shirt from her person.



“You’re a perverted peeping fucking Tom.” She moaned as my hands cupped her bra and then slipped my fingers under the straps to lower them. I noticed that she wasn’t squirming nearly as much as she had during previous encounters like this, and in a part of her brain, deep down, she wanted this.



“Most peeping Toms are perverts.” I shrugged my shoulders, indifferent to her accusation. “But unlike most, I can’t help it, and your thoughts were so loud. I saw where you wanted my hands, Leah.” I unbuttoned her pants and stroked my hand down her lower stomach. “You wanted them here.” I slipped my fingers inside her panties and to her very moist center.



“You’re not going to tell me to stop?” My fingers moved against her and her hips gyrated in a matching rhythm.



“Stop… don’t,” she said dryly. Surprisingly, her willingness to participate didn’t affect my desire for her. It still raged inside of me. I parted the edges of her most private part and began to move my fingers in and out of her. “Oh!, Oh, yes.” Her pleasure was such a sweet sound, I was already fully aroused and ready to please her. Increased my speed and my intensity, I almost wanted it to hurt, and she moaned like it did. “AH Edward, please…”



“What do you want me to do to you, Leah? Fucking beg for it!” I commanded.

“Kiss me Edward, please.” I crushed my lips against hers. Again this was a new sensation, it was urgent, intense, and passionate, something that the kisses that I’d shared with my wife had lacked. I moved my mouth to her neck and began to twirl my tongue around allowing it to dance on her flesh. Both her hands were buried in my hair as I explored her.



“I’m going to fuck you right here, right now. I don’t care if you beg or not, I just need to have you.” I dropped to my knees and removed the remainder of her clothes. I stood quickly and removed my own pants. I lifted her by the hips against the wall and entered her with almost no problem. She was already extremely wet, I was just much larger than she was accustomed to taking.



“Ow! Shit,” she exclaimed as I entered and began to mercilessly thrust inside of her. “Edward ouch, ow shit! Edward please… it’s so good!” She’d wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and locked her ankles together.



“You like that don’t you!” I had never spoken this way during sex before but I wanted to her say it.



“Yes, oh yes, Edward I like it!” She kissed me hard. I pulled away during the middle.



“Tell me you want more, you want it harder.” I commanded.



“Edward, more… harder,” she struggled to speak as I was still jostling her quite a bit. I moved us over to the couch, unlocked her ankles and positioned her so that I could enter her from behind. Leah’s ass was one of the things that had caused me to break my damn bed.



“AH,” she yelled as I entered her again. She agreed that my entering her this way was so much deeper, I had completely blown the back wall of her center, she was now modified to me and nobody else would ever lay hands on her. I gripped her waist and hammered on relentlessly. “Oh God Edward, I’m going to come! Please don’t stop! Please…” I closed my eyes and listened as she begged me for her release and once she gained it, mine came only a few quick strokes after. She became limp as she rested her head on the arm of our couch.

The monster had been satisfied, but a new emotion had taken its place. I felt something warm and foreign for this woman. I turned her around and picked her up and cradled her as I sat on the couch. She kissed me softly and passionately. It was just what I wanted and needed from her. “Thank you,” I whispered and she chuckled. “I mean it. Thank you for reawakening me, Leah. I was dying, becoming numb, and you started a scary but necessary fire inside of me.” She tilted back her head and admired me.



“You made me feel so wanted Edward, so hot and kinky. I couldn’t deny you if I wanted to, but this time I really, really didn’t want to deny you anything. But know what. I really don’t believe in being a home wrecker, but I’d really like to do this again,” she confessed and I chewed my bottom lip as I gave it some thought. I agreed with her. The truth be told I wouldn’t mind going again, right now.



“Give me a little time. I’ll make things right. However, until then-” My erection now nudged her as she sat in my lap.



“Oh, please do,” she kissed me once more.



“I do love the way you beg, Leah.” Our next interlude was intense but much slower. I realized that by the end I was making love to my temptress and that somewhere in my dark seedy mind I had loved her all along. I was meant to be with her and I would never be able to leave.

Embracing the Light and the Dark

One Month Later….

There is no fury like that of a she wolf scorned. I was now hated by Leah more than ever. It was sad because before our interlude she'd actually started to trust our kind but now she found us all the more manipulative and shady. It had been a month since I surrendered to my monster and I still hadn't kept my word to Leah.

I told her I'd make things right but I hadn't said one word to my wife. It was mainly because I didn't know how to break it to her. I didn't want to break up my family simply because I was bored and horny. I was extremely horny. I couldn't make love to my wife, I couldn't fuck her after everything with Leah. Leah had taken my lust and my passion hostage and she refused to allow me a release. She claimed that she was stupid once and she would never be that stupid again. She wanted me to make a choice and to choose her, but there was so much more to be considered than her and I. I had to look out for my daughter.

Actually it was my daughter that continued to make it necessary for me to converse with Leah at all. Tonight would be one of those awkward situations where my wife and Leah would be in the same room as me and I would feel torn. Tonight was Ness' dance recital. Leah had found an after school program that taught dance she and Bella both thought that it was necessary for Ness to interact with other children for her development. Since she couldn't enroll in school this was the next best alternative. Bella and I had just dropped Ness off at the high school where the recital was taking place. We were on our way to pick up Charlie and Sue. Seth and Jacob were going to be there a little later and Leah was supposed to be catching a ride with them. We pulled up to the Swan house and Bella tapped on the door. Leah opened the door and her distain for both of us was more than evident on her face.

"Hey," she greeted us dryly as she walked away from the door and expected us to follow her. "Mom is almost ready and Charlie isn't here yet," Leah explained as she picked at her hair.

"And what about you are you ready?" Bella asked as she examined my she-wolf. I took a moment to do the same. She was wearing skin tight black leggings a white camisole and a long grey drape. She looked like she was staying in for the night.

"Yeah about that, I know Ness is expecting me but I am not up to going. It's rare that everyone is out of the house and it would be nice to have a moment to just be alone," Leah murmured.

"Well that's pretty selfish of you," Bella griped at Leah with her hands on her hips. Leah glared at Bella but said nothing. "For some reason my daughter looks up to you and when she looks out into the audience she's going to be searching for you and you're not going to be there! You truly are a cold, unfeeling, self-centered harpy!"

"Are you finished?" Leah asked after Bella's rant. "All of those things you spewed at me aren't original. I've heard them before, matter-of-fact I've heard them so many times that I think those words have lost their effect on me. The one person that does think well of me is Ness, and I spoke with her and let her know there may be a chance I wasn't coming and she's cool with it." Leah drew her legs up onto the couch and tucked them underneath her. Bella rolled her eyes and I could tell she was disgusted with Leah. I knew that Leah could care less. I felt guilty. I knew that Leah didn't want to come because she didn't want to deal with being around me.

"I need some air I can't be around her right now!" Bella stormed out of the house. I could hear her making a call to Charlie to see how much longer we were going to have to wait. I sat down beside Leah and she scooted as far away from me as possible. She closed her drape in an attempted to cover more of her flesh. It made no matter to me I had the contours of her body committed to my memory.

"Regardless of all this other shit you should be there for Renesmee. You're the one that helped her with her little dance and stuff. You're the main person she was excited to show everything to." Leah looked straight ahead and then back to her fingernails.

"Just make sure someone records it. I'll watch it later," she said bluntly in an attempt to sound indifferent but I knew better. Leah was hurting because she wanted to go. She just couldn't deal with looking me in the face anymore. She went to go to her room. I quickly got in front of her and blocked her way to the stairs. She wanted to push me but thought better of touching me at all.

"Don't go up there because I'll want to follow you," I whispered as quietly as possible. She scoffed and crossed her arms.

"I'm not doing this with you. You do know how much I hate you right. I've tried to make it abundantly clear but apparently screaming it at you in my thoughts isn't good enough. I HATE you Edward! The only reason I haven't outted your ass is because I love your daughter to so much and I don't want to be the cause of her hurting. So get your wife to back the fuck off because I don't deserve this shit!"

"Jealousy," I murmured.

"No, rage pure and simple." I noticed the tears in Leah's eyes and her hands were shaking violently. I moved to the side so she could go to her room. There was no debating with her when all she was seeing was anger and hate.

The recital was typical and boring. I could tell the women were really enjoying watching the little kids as they tried their best to perform their moves. "I wish we could have another one," Bella whispered to me and I just smirked a little. I had no idea what to say to that. I loved Renesmee but I didn't want another kid. I was pretty sure I didn't want this marriage anymore but I was stuck.

"Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Little Diamonds!" It was my daughters turn to shine. I watched as she twirled around the stage and moved in perfect unison with her classmates. Seeing her like this made her seem older and something built up inside of me.

"Pride," I whispered and Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. If tears could've formed in my eyes they would've. All the girls were in their final poses and the crowd started to applaud I noticed as Ness' eyes surveyed the crowd and they froze and widened with excitement as she gazed in the back of the auditorium. I saw Leah through my daughter's mind's eye. She was clapping and blowing kisses at my daughter. Then I saw it, tears, they were the tears I wished I could shed for her. Leah was proud of my daughter too.

After Ness' performance there was a brief intermission. We all went into the cafeteria area and waited for Ness to come around to see us. After a few minutes she came around and Leah was holding her hand. "Did you see I finally got the turn right?"

"Yeah you were perfect kid!" Leah ruffled Ness' copper hair and then released her hand. Ness came over and hugged her mother and me. Then she started conversing with everyone else. It only took me a second to notice Leah's departure. She was heading down the hall and was almost out of the double doors. I caught up to her quickly enough without putting for any real effort. I grabbed her arm and squeezed it roughly.

"Ow Edward, let me go!" She tried to snatch her arm back. She should've known that wouldn't work. Just that minor moment of struggle was enough to awaken something that had be slumbering within me. I forced myself to ignore it, there were too many people around to be reckless here.

"Stop struggling Leah. I just wanted to thank you for coming Ness seemed to be thrilled to see you." Leah nodded and looked away from me.

"Well, I did it for selfish reasons. I wanted to see if the kid had taken any of the notes I'd given her." Leah shrugged and then tried to retrieve her arm from my grasps once more.

"Edward," she groaned and I held on even tighter.

"Beg me Leah," I whispered and she rolled her eyes.

"Not this shit again," she scoffed. "Look, I've been thinking about your need to possess me this way. Why don't you just have rough sex with your wife? Since it's clear to me that you're not … that you don't … I'm not a home wrecker. I know you're a good man and a gentlemen for the most part. I don't know why you've resorted to this behavior around me. I guess I just bring out the best in men, anyway, we will never engage in what happened that night again. I deserve more than to be some vampire man's release, so let me go Edward and get back to your wife!" Leah and I gazed at each other for a moment. It took some time but I finally released her. I watched as she left the school and entered the night.

"This isn't over Leah," I muttered as I turned and went back to my family. My daughter hugged me once more and started talking to me about the other dance courses that were available. I loved my little girl she was the light of my world, but she wasn't enough. The world consists of both the light and the dark. There was still the darkness the captured my soul and Leah sung to it, she screamed every freaking syllable.

The Monster Exposed

"I'm heading to get some more milk for Ness in the morning. I can't believe I forgot to run by the store," I muttered as I put on my coat to keep up appearances. Bella barely looked up from her book to acknowledge that I was leaving.

"Yeah you've become very forgetful lately," she muttered dryly. "And your forgetfulness always seems to occur on the same night of the week. Edward is there something you want to tell me?" I was so frustrated my hand was on the doorknob. Leah worked night on Wednesdays and Saturdays I thought I'd been clever enough to alternate my stalker like mannerisms to keep Bella off my scent. It wasn't like I was cheating anymore I just wanted to see Leah. I wanted to watch her move and experience her visually.

"Tell me what you're really doing Edward. Where are you really going? Please don't lie to me at least respect me enough to be honest." She put her book down and I sat down beside her.

"I don't know where to start," I confessed as I looked into her eyes.

"Don't worry Edward we have all the time in the world," she went to grab my hand and I moved it away.

"You're going to hate me. I hate myself for the way I have been behaving. I'm not the good person you thought I was. I'm am the undead and I have no soul. I warned you Bella that at my core I was a monster and that I'd hurt you. Our marriage was good a bit monotonous but I still loved you enough to be faithful until … Leah." I ran my hands through my hair and Bella nodded her head repeatedly as the hurt and pain reflected in her eyes.

"I knew it. I knew you were with her. I could smell her in my house but I told myself that you wouldn't do us. You wouldn't defile our marriage that way," Bella forced herself to speak through dry sobs. "So how did she lure you in?" I looked at my wife out of the corner of my eye. I immediately realized what she was trying to do. She wanted to lay the blame on my temptress. She wanted to cast Leah as the villain. She wanted Leah to have been the one suggest that we be intimate the reality was she had denied me but my power to lure her in was simply too great.

"Edward, what did she do?" Bella was practically screaming and I looked back I didn't want her to wake our daughter.

"I was in the woods," I started the tale that belonged to Leah and me. I watched as the horror entered my wife's eyes.

"So that's why … us outside … you were pretending I was her! Oh my God Edward!" She got up and stood in front of the fireplace and refused to look at me.

"I was only with her the one night," I said for lack of anything else to say.

"Is that by choice or did she put a stop to it?" Bella asked a question that if I answered it honestly she wouldn't like that answer she'd receive. I couldn't bring myself to respond. Bella chuckled darkly and then shook her head.

"Do you love her?" Again another question that I dare not speak on.

"I'm obsessed and infatuated," I confessed but I wasn't sure if love really described what I felt for my temptress. I knew I wouldn't mind making love to her by the fire again like we did that night. I remembered caressing the sides of her face while I made love to her slowly. I remember looking deep into her expressive brown eyes as we experienced each other.

"You didn't answer my question, but that's okay it doesn't matter. I want you out of my house Edward Cullen." Her tone was dark and scary. Her tone was so low and laced with hurt.

"Okay," I whispered. I didn't bother with my car because I didn't want the motor to wake Ness. I knew where I was headed even though I had shamed my house and hurt my wife. I still wanted to be near my temptress. She called to me. Her shift was way over I hadn't realized how long Bella and I had been discussing my discretions. It was passed midnight and I was sure that Leah was fast asleep.

I found myself in front of the Swan house debating whether I was going to sneak into her window. I didn't debate for too long I knew that's where I wanted to be. I only waited long enough to ensure she was sleeping. I was able to easily gain access to her room. Charlie really needed secure the latches on his windows. I watched as she lay in her full size bed with her black comforter covering everything I wanted to see. She took a deep breath but I knew I could move around pretty freely. Shape shifters had the tendency to be heavy sleepers. I moved the foot of her bed and pulled her comforter down ever so slightly. Leah slept in her white sports bra and I was sure that her panties were matching. I didn't pull the blanket down enough to see even though I wanted to. I watched as she turned to her side and her dark locks now covered her face.

"That will never do," I whispered as I moved her hair out of her face. I allowed my pointer finger to trail along the side of her face just for a moment. I needed to feel her. I stared at Leah's beauty and even though I was so close the monster didn't seem to awaken. I was seeing her through my normal logical eyes and I still found her exotic beauty flawless.

"What am I going to do Leah? I've ruined everything and now I will have no one. Maybe that's exactly what I deserve." I mused over my situation as I watched this woman sleep. I imagined telling her that Bella knew and her asking me why I confessed. She would know it was because I was confronted and not because I wanted to.

"Le-ech," she muttered as her dreams drifted to me. She thought of our conversation in the hall at Ness' recital. I'd grabbed her arm but the words were different.

"Leah, I'm leaving her tonight. I can't stand making you so unhappy baby. I love you," I whispered in her dreamed. I watched as the dream version of myself roughly collected her into his arms and kissed her right there on the spot.

Leah was always so eager in her self-conscious. I watched as the dream became X rated. Leah's body began to squirm and move and her dream became more vivid. I could now smell her desire as her subconscious beckoned for me. Leah's thoughts were more than enough to stir the monster within me.

"I, I have to get out of here," I muttered to myself. I didn't want to be this close to temptation especially when she was helpless in her dream world. I exited her room and immediately knew where I had to go next. I needed to let my family now of the change my life was taking.

Repercussions

I didn’t expect that confessing my sins would affect anyone but me. I thought my daughter would hate me, but I had single handedly taken her best friend away. It was the first time I’d stepped foot back into my home with Bella and the first thing I heard was my daughter harsh words as she spoke on the phone. I listened as Renesmee blasted Leah on the phone. I was surprised that my daughter had such a profound grasp on profanity. I came into the house and I saw my wife sitting contently beside my daughter stroking her hair as she spewed this venom in Leah’s direction. I quickly jerked the phone away from my daughter and the look I gave was full of shock and horror.

“And you’re so much worse daddy! How could you do that to mom?” She cried and covered her face.

“You’re right Ness, what I did was wrong. I wish I could give you both a logical explanation that would make you not hate me,” I confessed and my daughter’s frown grew deeper. “You’re right to be mad at me but don’t blame Leah.” I muttered and I heard my wife’s jaw clench and her teeth grind together. “Leah’s a good person and I know she cares about you very much. Don’t blame her for my mistake. I made her do it.”

“Yeah right! I never want to see her again and I don’t believe anything you say anymore!” Ness ran out of the room full of tears slamming the door to her room expressing her upset.

“What are you doing here Edward? I told you I didn’t want you in my house or around our daughter,” Bella said dryly. I placed the divorce papers on the coffee table.

“I signed them,” I muttered. I was hoping that coming here and looking in my wife’s face would make me feel remorseful and hurt by this change in my life. I did feel horrible about my daughter’s upset but I wanted to be free. I didn’t want to feel like a monster and be unfaithful to my wife. The only way not to suffer those feeling is to not be married.

“You’re not even going to fight for me?” Bella asked and the heart break in her eyes made it hard to look at her. “Was she that much better than me?”

“Leah doesn’t have anything to do with the reason I signed the papers. I want to do what’s best for you. I know that you hate me now but hopefully as time goes by you and everyone else will stop hating me and we can be social again. Bella scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I said with time,” I muttered and huffed.


“Tell Ness I said goodbye and I love her. I know she won’t care but …” I pulled myself from the couch and went to exit what used to my home. I knew it no longer belonged to me. I’d never been in a building and felt so cold and unwanted.

My family wanted nothing to do with me. Only a few were willing to help me try to pick up the pieces of the mess I was now in. Rose, Esme, and Carlisle stood by my side and helped me find a place to stay. Carlisle felt I needed some time so sort out my thoughts. Esme thought I was mentally ill. Rose didn’t believe I belonged with Bella in the first place. At Esme’s urging Carlisle acted as my therapist and I was brutally honest with him about my obsession with Leah. Through working with him and talking things out that’s how I knew it was best to end my relationship with Bella. I needed to start over or come as to it as my life would allow.

I was allotted enough money to move out into a small house of my own. I really liked the space and just like our main house it was set back away from town. I liked the fact that I was starting to feel like my old self again. It seemed the monster had died just as all the drama in my life began.

I sat in my window seat with a couple of my favorite books. I enjoyed listening to the sound of the rain as I read. It was a soothing sound that I loved being close to. However something in the far distance caught my eye as went to turn the page. I saw Leah in wolf from sitting outside. She was probably a couple of miles away. She was sitting with her back away from my home and her grey fur was drenched from the rain. To my knowledge she was unaware of my new residence. I watched her as she seemed frozen by the sight of something. It took me a moment to focus in on her thoughts.

I have nothing. My family has disowned me. The kid hates me. I’ve brought dishonor to my people all because I laid with him. I want to leave but something … God knows what is keeping me here.

I watched as her last conversation with her mother went through her head. Sue had kicked her out of her house. She didn’t want to but she thought it best if Leah disappear. Sam’s pack had started to pick fights with her and they had begun to inflict some serious injuries. They wanted it to be known by all that she was defiled, deformed, and not welcome on the reservation anymore.

I have nothing. I am nothing. What do I have to live for?

Leah was so deep in her own thoughts that she didn’t focus on two of the smaller wolves approaching her with malicious intent. Then I listened again to her thoughts she knew they were coming. She laid down and tucked her head and her tail. She was committing suicide she saw it as a means to an end to all of her pain and suffering. She wanted to die but didn’t want the dishonor of killing herself. I couldn’t just sit and watch this. Leah was mine whether I liked it or not and it would pain me to see any harm to come to her. I quickly abandoned my home and raced into the forest and approached the scene just as the two wolves were ready to attach. The one jumped Leah and easily sunk his teeth into the flesh of her shoulder. I quickly the vile beast that harmed my temptress and dislocated both his hind legs.


“Send this message to the rest of your pack. The next one of you that try to harm her will end up dead!” I declared. I turned to the other and he cowardly moved back yet had the audacity to snarl at me. He ran back to wherever he came from. After he ran off Leah phased back not because she wanted to, but she had so much blood that she’d lost consciousness. I took my shirt off and covered her before lifting her in my arms. I’d never felt so much guilt in my life. I was determined to right all the wrongs I’d created for my temptress. She would have her life back even if I lost mine in the process.

Our Sins and the Aftermath

Leah laid motionless in the master bedroom. I stared at the disgruntled look on her face. I could hear her heart beating and the bleeding had stopped all she needed was time. I pulled out some of my loungewear for her to change into. I peaked over at her shoulder to witness the healing taking place. I was still amazed at how fast their kind healed themselves. I strolled into my living room and sat at my piano. It was still raining but night had replaced the greyness of the day. I looked over the musical notes and tweaked them slightly. I began to play something slow and haunting. I felt that's what this day called for something sad and painful. Leah's pain should be my pain. I should be the one wishing for death but I wasn't. Never through this whole process did I wish to die. I'd felt that I'd brought dishonor to my daughter, Esme, and Carlisle yet I still didn't feel as low as I did when I went to the Volturi. Why? These crimes were far worse but I couldn't feel the proper emotion. I almost felt as though I was entitled to Leah even though I'd caused her all of this pain. She wasn't my property or territory logically I knew this but my mind was a really weird thing right now.

"I'm trying to be better," I murmured. Maybe Esme was right, maybe I was mentally ill. Just as I primed my fingers to get ready to play I noticed a timid disoriented figure in my peripheral vision. I turned to her and noticed that she hadn't changed into the clothing I left out for her. She stood there in only my shirt that was stained with her blood. I was sure she was bound to still be weak and hurting.

"I left clothes on the bed," I told her and she had nerve to glare at me.

"I don't need your hand outs and I for damn sure don't need your help. You've ruined me and you don't even have the decency to allow me an honorable death. You're determined to witness me suffer. Fuck you Edward Cullen!" She stormed toward the door and I of course stopped her from leaving. I hitched her over my shoulder and plopped her down on the couch. She went to get up again and I slammed her down.

"You don't deserve death Leah," I stated bluntly.

"I am tainted, damaged goods. No one on the reservation will ever want to wed someone like me I've been used up. I'm so far from the life I've seen from myself. I'm not welcome anywhere. I have no home." Leah spoke like a drone she seemed lifeless except for the single tear that ran down her face.

"I'm sorry that I've caused you to have such a poor self-view," I murmured and for the first time in a long time I actually felt the proper emotion guilt. Leah scoffed and turned away from me. "I'm serious Leah. I am sorry that you've been exiled, but I will not you death on my conscious. I will help you redeem your name or start over somewhere new whichever you choose. You can stay here with me until your wounds completely heal." She laughed in my face.

"What would make you think I'd even consider staying here with you? You've ruined my life!" She screamed and began to sob. "You ruined my life!"

"I know," I whispered. I inched toward her and gathered her into my arms she struggled against me at first but eventually fell limp against my body. Her little whimpers and whines were the only sounds that were heard in the whole house. "That night after we committed our sin we both had visions or dreams of us in the long run. I behaved cowardly because I didn't want to deal with the aftermath … but the truth is we wanted each other. We still do."

"Shut up Edward," she croaked. "I don't and never wanted anything to do with you sorry pathetic ass!" She tried to pull away from me but something inside me told me to hold her tighter.

"I don't need you to confirm or deny anything. You have nowhere to go so you're staying here. You can't go home because you'll be killed. I have a few ideas on how to redeem you let me put a few things in motion to restore you name and then you never have to look at me again."

"It's not like I have a choice. I'm stuck here because I'm sure you won't let me leave," she muttered dryly.

"Smart girl. Like I said before I left some clothes on the bed so go change out of this bloody shirt." I released her and she did as I asked. I knew I was going to reach out to someone who really wanted to stay impartial but I needed him now. He could help me make things right for Leah even if he didn't want to see my face.

"I guess it's time to make that call," I said as I pulled my cell out and called Jasper. Everyone knew what Jasper's power was he could appeal to Leah's tribe and to my daughter and tell them my actions were malicious and Leah was only a victim. First I needed to get Jasper alone to see where his head was at regarding all of this. I received no answer but I expected that much. I left a voicemail explaining to him the scene I'd witnessed with Leah and the other wolves. I was sure he'd get back to me when he had the chance. I heard the stairs creek as Leah came down them and made her presence known.

"I'm hungry," she whispered before sitting down beside me and balling her legs up underneath her.

"I'm sure I can wrestle up something … I can order a mean pizza," I offered the woman a smile and she gave a glimpse of a smile but sadness was still evident in her eyes. I was determined to change it and make it better.





My Favorite Reviews for this Story

pmu 7/18/13 . chapter 1

I absolutely love this... I have never read a story where Edward is "aggressive" (i believe that is the word) with Leah and it's amazing. This whole thing dripped with sexual tension and rough wanting but you balanced it well. I always have imagine Edward being this way, if he ever gave into the "monster" within himself. Great story babe.

Eliza Douglas 5/24/13 . chapter 1

I never liked this paring. I am a cannon girl but once I read this I might read more. This was one hot story!

Stephycats7785 5/21/13 . chapter 1

So I love darkward as you well know and it was awesome do u think you could do a story reverse of this? Leah the "monster" who needs to be sated? That would be awesome and in return I'd of course do a one shot for you!

Ice Moon 14 5/20/13 . chapter 1

This is great! You should consider doing a sqeuel to see what goes through the cullens and packd mind when they find or how they put together. Please consider I'm so into this story i would really like it to contuined.

KendieV 5/21/13 . chapter 1

oooo monster Edward! I can dig that :p
LOL so long Bella - you're not good enough for Eddo!
I like the idea of his vampireness coming to the surface - now he can be the sexy dominant bad boy! YUM!
another great one! :)