Based Loosely off of The Heart At It’s Darkest by ChemicalJane
It had been over two years …
Since I had left my home in hopes of finding new happiness … well maybe not happiness, but a new purpose. I found many things but I don’t know if it was my purpose in life, but it was most definitely a new perspective. Two years since I had fully embraced what I was, two years of almost completely living like a human. The main reason I was coming back was because I had decided that I was okay was what I was, I even lived for certain parts of it. Two years had past and my secret or better yet our secret should be a memory in everyone’s minds.
I had to come back because if I didn’t I feared I would lose myself and more importantly my ability to phase, each time I tried it was harder to get that burning ripple to flow underneath my skin and give way to my inner animal. The last time I tried I stood for a good hour in an unknown forest trying to invoke enough of an emotion to trigger and angry response in my body, but I couldn’t think of anything I was truly angry about. I was not the same Leah, I wasn’t bitter and everything I seemed to bitter about before seemed like a distant memory. After traveling the world, seeing major destruction and learning of so many natural disasters it made all of my emotional baggage petty at best.
Now, I sat in the taxi in front of my home in Forks, I watched as someone peeked through the blinds curiously. I hadn’t told them I was coming home I wanted to surprise everyone, plus I knew if I told them I was coming home they would ask me a question I still didn’t have the answer to … How long was I staying? I kept telling myself that I would stay long enough to get my ability to phase comfortably back then I would leave. Staying here would serve me no good, but something told me that I was lying to myself and that I was in for a rude awakening if I thought I was just going to walk back into my old life and no drama would befall me. I sighed deeply and handed the driver a hundred dollars.
“Thanks” I stepped out into my front yard and adjusted my clothes a bit.
“No way!” I heard Seth yell from the house, “Mom, Leah’s back, Leah’s back!” Seth whipped opened the door and ran towards me scooping me up in a big hug and squeezing me until I was almost breathless. “Leah God I missed you!”
“I missed you too!” I gasped as he let me down. He grabbed one of my bags and helped me in side. Once in our living room I sat on the couch and take a deep whiff expecting to smell all of the memories of home but instead, my eyes widen with excitement and horror. I immediately stood up and headed for the front door, this was a mistake. It had to be because if it weren’t I wouldn’t be getting ready to face this right now. I haven’t even had the time to get comfortable being home. I wasn’t going to deal with the situation just not now.
“Where are you going Leah?” He laughed, “You looked scared to death!” He now sat were I was once located on the couch.
“Fresh air,” I murmured. I needed to escape before they all approached me, it would be too much.
“Can’t you wait until you see mom she has missed you like crazy!”
“You’re right … I’ll stay.” I sat in the chair by the door, just in case I needed to make a run for but I really did want to see mom. “Where is mom anyway?”
“She is upstairs, she was getting dressed,” he shrugged, “some things take her the longest time.”
“Yeah …” Then, murmuring came from the back door, through the kitchen, and now appeared to me in the form of Jacob, Bella, Edward, and little Renesmee (who looked to be about 10 years old).
“Leah!!” Jacob grabbed and shook me senseless. “Welcome back Beta! You are back right?”
“I” I was about to give him an excuse but he really didn’t seem to care about what I had to say.
“You look hot by the way; it has been a million years since I have seen you with long hair and what up with it being all curly.” He went to run his fingers through it and Bella cleared her throat, she never did like any of the attention Jacob gave me, especially once he imprinted on her little … . Look at me I was getting ready to go back into my old ways of thinking maybe it was the bitterness that gave me ability to phase so quickly, maybe that was what I was missing.
“Jacob,” I moved his hand from my hair, “its just hair, God.” I smoothed my hands over my jeans and took a seat. We all sat in silence momentarily.
“So what brings you back?” Bella said not looking at me with her voice cold.
“I missed my family …” I thought better of mentioning my other dilemma. Edward’s eyes now frowned at me, and I immediately remembered his ability to steal my thoughts.
“Oh … will you be staying long?” She asked concerned, everything in the room seemed smaller. I knew Bella and I had a public disliking for each other but this was different, her glare had purpose. I was trying to be cordial but Bella always agitated me, she sort had this way of claiming things that didn’t belong to her.
“This is my home … it was my home first, I am allowed to stay Bella … if I want.” I said matter of fact, sometimes I honestly thought she believed that everything revolved around her, but honestly after two years to view the world I could easily tell her that it didn’t, the world revolved around none of us. It was just ball of space in which we all existed.
“Do you want to?” She raised her eyebrow to me and I rolled my eyes in response. I could smell my mother’s scent increasing rapidly throughout the room.
“Leah dear! Oh honey you are as beautiful as the sun and stars combined … traveling has brought out the best in you!” She hugged me, she was right traveling had brought out the best in me, but something was missing.
“Thanks mom and you look great too!”
“Well I have to; you know what tonight is don’t you?” She smiled at me and I thought to the calendar I could think of nothing special about April 3rd.
“Leah it is the biggest counsel meeting of the season, you know that!” She popped me lightly on the head, “you should come a lot of the elders have been asking about you!” She beamed.
“Sure,” I said sitting down again. I didn’t want start an argument within my first few minutes of speaking of to her. Those meeting were so boring or at least I used to think so, when I was nine, which was the last time I had ever attended one.
“Well tell me about everything you’ve seen and all the things you have done.” She sat down anxiously waiting for me to say something profound.
“Haven’t you gotten any of my letters?” I questioned, knowing that I had fully detailed all of my adventures to her, Seth, and Jacob and no one else.
“Yeah, but Leah I just want to hear your voice.” So I told her a couple of stories about some of the people I met.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you honey, what made your destinations change drastically?” I stretched I hadn’t talked this long for a while, as I raised my arms to the sky and arched my back I noticed to undeserving eyes fall across my body, hopefully I was the only one to notice. Why must he examine me so, as if he were hungry for something? It made me uncomfortable it made me remember who I was then, a monster. That is not me not anymore. I felt like the past was chasing me and I was running straight into a brick wall.
“What do you mean?” I cleared my throat in a desperately lame attempt to breathe with the uncomfortable tension in the room.
“I mean at first you went to places like Paris and Italy, you made them sound so beautiful and glamorous. Then your stops seemed to have a purpose, like when you went to South America and then Africa and the whole dynamic of your letters changed … I could tell that you had too.” I smiled at her.
“Yeah, I left the bitch in Rome and haven’t seen her since.” I smiled slightly. “I have to admit there are some things I regret saying and doing when I was the bitch but I cannot change that I can only go forward and try to be humane … even if I’m not completely human.” I sighed.
“You are …” Edward said quietly from beside Bella she now glared at him, her looked advised him to chose his words wisely, “human.”
“And don’t say bitch sweetheart it’s not lady like!” I laughed mom said bitch. Edward smirked too. It was funny that she would say a word that she claimed to be unclean and not lady like, did she not consider herself a lady. It was one of the random slips she made that I let slide.
“I want to help people all over the world, it gives me the most amazing feeling knowing that I am touching someone’s life …in a good way, a way worth remembering. I don’t want to be the cause of pain.” I laughed, “This conversation is getting a little deep for my whole three hours of being home. I’m going to go freshen up … it was nice seeing you all.” I said politely
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