There’s a lot of things in my life that I regret.
A lot of things I truly wish I could say sorry for.
There’s a lot of events that haunt me and keep me stuck in the past.
There’s a lot of people that I’ve done wrong.
There’s a lot of people that have hurt me.
Last year I was at the lowest point in my life and I was struggling to cling onto the familiar. I felt like everyone was leaving me because I wasn’t good enough. I measure myself again so many peole and things.
People kicked when I was down. I let them in and they didn’t really care about my hurts. They were just nosy and wanted to know my faults. I thought they cared, but they thought me foolish and someone to get rid of. To their credit I was not the easiest person to get along with. I’d become quite the bitch. I was only worried about self gratification. I was so low and that’s all that I could focus on.
Now that I’m away from those people … and although I feel lighter sometimes the memories still bite me hard and sting my heart. I’m not used to being the girl that people hate.
Sometimes I feel the urge to apologize.
Sometimes I feel that vengeance has not been done and I wish it to come swiftly.
But most of all I wish I could forget the people that caused this hurt. They tainted my name. The people I wanted to trust and be a part of.
There are so many memories I wish to escape, to run away from my own mind. My mind has the capability to be my own undoing, because seeds of doubts are planted daily within …
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